Time To Discover
by Auriela
Summary: It seems that Lily's ultimate revenge plan might just have one major flaw...She happens to have fallen hard for the one guy she swore she'd hate for all eternity. My final chapter, Number 17, affectionately known as Love On Top Of A Table, is now up!
1. James Potter Is Going Down

**A/N**: Hey guys, this is my FanFic and I only put it up after two other authors made me promise that by the time they updated I had to post something…And this is what came out. I know James and Lily fics have been done over and over again but what can I say…I love them. So here it is, the first chapter of my story **Time To Discover**. Hope you enjoy. If you do, feel free to press that little blue button down there…Come on, you know you want to! 

**James Potter Is Going Down**

also known as 

**The Perfect Plan**

_I am going to kill him!_ I think furiously as I stride down the hall towards the Gryffindor corridor. _This is the last time that I will stand for any of his nonsense. This time, James Potter has gone too far._

'Dopplebeater defence,' I mutter to the Fat Lady, who is looking particularly cheery today. The whole castle has been discussing her recent involvement with a Quidditch player from a painting on the fifth floor, and last night quite a few Gryffindors were locked out of the common room because she was absent from her post…

'Anything wrong, dear?' she asks.

'There will be if you don't open the door,' I tell her, giving her a standard Lily glare. The murderous glare that I have perfected will have to wait for that toe-rag scum Potter.

'Just trying to help,' the Fat Lady murmurs and swings forward to let me through.

'Thanks, but I don't need any help.' _Potter's going to be the one that needs help after this_,I think to myself.

He's sprawled across the couch, conjuring tiny bluebirds out of thin air with his wand. Sirius is watching him, laughing as he makes each bird disappear in a puff of blue smoke. The entire female population that is in the common room are gazing at the two, a mixture of awe and lust on their faces. I deem myself to be the only sane girl in Gryffindor, apart from my best friend Alice, as far as James Potter and Sirius Black are concerned. Lusting after the main Marauders is simply not in my genetic make-up.

'Potter,' I yell, making him glance up at me. Sirius has his wand posed, ready to make the next bird disappear, but at my sudden appearance the little bird is instead flying around his head. The girls around them sit up a little straighter when I come in, adjusting their robes and pretend not to watch what is unfolding before them. _They've seen too many of Potter and my fights_, I think bitterly to myself.

But this fight is unavoidable. Not after what he's done this time.

'I hope you have no plans for the next few days…'

He stands up, smiling and ruffling his hair. 'Why, I don't, Lily my love. Go out with me, and I'm sure those few days will just rush by…I'm confident we could find plenty of things to do.'

'Potter, there is no universe where I would ever consider you as a worthy date. How hard is it to get that through your thick head?'

'I believe that one day, Lily dearest, you will come to your senses and finally realise that you and I are meant to be with each other. Once that thought has gone through your head you will agree to go out with me and everything will be beautiful. It doesn't matter how long it takes. Besides,' he shrugs carelessly, 'I'm optimistic.'

The girls titter and it makes my blood boil.

'Well I hope you're optimistic about everything regarding me.'

I think he believes I'm subtly trying to tell him something. He looks at Sirius, who is batting the bird away from his face absentmindedly. Sirius raises his eyebrows at him, and nods his head.

'Wow, I never knew you had it in you, Lily,' Sirius drawls, catching the bird in his hand and squashing it so all that is left is whispers of blue smoke. 'Finally letting the gallant young man take you out!'

I can't believe that this is what they're thinking. Are they mentally unstable? James looks at me and starts to speak, but I can yell louder than him. 'Are you optimistic about the fact that I am now going to hex you into oblivion?'

I stick my hand into my robe and pull out my wand, trembling with anger.

James steps back from me, his face torn between a look of amusement and actual fear. He's been on the receiving end of many of my spells. He knows how long they take to recover from. I step closer to him, and he edges back again. The girls and Sirius look from me back to James as if we're an interesting tennis match.

'Now, Evans, why the hell would you want to hex me into oblivion?'

Merlin, he is so thick. 'Bobby Lane, Potter. Does that name mean anything to you?'

He smiles widely and winks at Sirius. This action makes me so furious I don't know what I'm doing. I step right up to him and point my wand at his chest.

'This is the sixth boyfriend of mine that you have hexed so forcefully that Madam Giles can't fix anything for a week! Are you insane? What are you trying to do? Do you honestly believe I think it's so clever of you to do things like this, that because you're so brilliant at hexing my boyfriends that I'd just fall into your arms and let you carry me off?'

He tilts his head to the side, a small smile creeping across his face. 'Well…'

'Potter!' I screech. 'No! Can't you tell when people are being sarcastic? Why can't you just leave me alone? What are you trying to get at, anyway? Are you just attempting to hex all of my boyfriends so that eventually there'll be no one to go out with but you?'

'That's actually a good idea, Lily,' he says with his trademark smirk. 'I think you could probably join up with the Marauders. What do you say, Sirius?'

Sirius just chuckles. They both make me so furious I flick my wand, and before they realise what I'm doing, Sirius has been thrown backwards, hitting his head on the mantelpiece of the fireplace, and James has been pulled into the air and is being twirled around and around upside down, his robes falling down so that the entire Gryffindor common room can see his bright blue boxers, with tiny brooms zooming all around them.

'Evans!' The thick material of his robe muffles James' voice. 'Get me down or I will do something serious.'

Sirius looks up. 'What did you say about me?'

This is a typical response whenever Sirius hears the word 'serious' around him. I groan in frustration and flick my wand at him. He jerks up and starts dancing furiously. 'Be a gentleman, Sirius, and keep the girls entertained,' I say sweetly. He glares daggers at me, twirling a pirouette, but my attention is back on James.

'You infuriate me, Potter,' I scream at him. 'You are so incredibly frustrating! Why can't you be responsible and mature for once? Is that so hard to ask? You're Head Boy, for Merlin's sake! What do I have to do to get you to stop bugging me?'

James laughs, his face red from all the blood obviously pouring into it. 'You have to ask, Lily my love? Just go out with me and all this will be done with.'

I let him down on the floor roughly and I bend over him, my eyes narrowed into tiny little slits. 'Never, Potter. I will never, ever want to go out with you. You'd do good to remember that, if you don't want to end up like poor Bobby in the hospital wing.'

'But Lil-'

'Shut up for once in your life, Potter!' I cry, and wave my wand at his face. Five pegs immediately clamp his lips shut and he lets out a groan of pain. 'Serves you right,' I tell him.

He glowers at me and waves his wand. The pegs fall to the ground.

'Do you ever wonder, Lily,' he says seriously, 'that perhaps you annoy me as much as I annoy you?'

I'm surprised at the depth of his words, but I'm far too angry with him to pay too much notice. 'Just keep away from me, Potter.' I jerk my wand and he is shoved back about six feet, to make my point. I sweep past him to the girls' dormitories, turning back to look at him once more. 'By the way, Potter,' I say, as he looks at me with a tiny bit of hope in his eyes. 'Nice boxers.'

He goes so red I think he's probably beaten even _my_ best record of blushing.

'Aurgh!' I scream as I enter the dormitory. Only Alice is in there, and she jumps about a foot off the bed when I scream.

'Merlin, Lily, what are you so uptight about?'

'What do you think, Alice?' I slump on my bed, feeling sorry for myself. 'Why does he have to make me this angry and this upset? I hate having to use magic against anyone, but when it comes to Potter I just can't resist!'

'That's because he's such a git it's impossible to resist!' She comes over and sits next to me on my bed. 'We've only got another year here, Lils. And then you'll be out of his way forever.'

'Seven years too late,' I mutter.

'Life's tough.' Alice shrugs.

'I don't know why he's got this obsession with me. He's asked me to go out with him at least twelve times a day ever since we started here. And both being Heads? We're supposed to be intelligent, mature leaders. Which are adjectives never to be associated with the name James Potter.' I look at her desperately. 'He drives me insane, Al.'

'I think it's about high time you taught him a lesson,' Alice says.

'A lesson? What about?'

'A lesson to show him that there's no stuffing around with Lily Evans.'

'And how would I do that?'

'Hit him where it hurts the most.'

'And where's that?'

She looks at me as if _I'm_ the one insane, not the radish-for-brains Potter that is downstairs. 'You, Lily.'

'Me?'

'He's always going on about you, right? You, Lily. You're the only girl James Potter has ever paid attention to – or at least attention that lasts more than a Quidditch game.'

'I wish he'd give it up, Alice.'

'So go out with him. Pretend to love him. And then, once he's completely yours, dump him. Get him where it hurts the most.'

I'm shocked. 'Alice, that's horrible!'

She shrugs. 'Yeah, I know. But honestly, I think the world, or at least Hogwarts, could do with a bit less of James Potter's ego. And you're the only one that is able to fix him, Lils.'

What she's saying is wrong, but it's appealing. 'You're right, Al, but I do happen to have something called a boyfriend. Bobby Lane, remember him? He's down in the hospital wing right now because of that toe-rag Potter!'

'Exactly why you have to do this, Lily.'

I laugh at her. 'You make it sound like the world is hanging on my decision.'

She shrugs. 'Maybe it is.'

'I'll have to think about that one. Potter and I changing the world by me going out with him?'

'Look, you never know. And anyway, Lils, about Bobby, weren't you going to break up with him anyway?'

I start to blush. I wish I didn't tell Alice so many things. 'Well, now how's it going to look to him? He's going to think that I found Potter's pranks so amusing that I wanted to go out with him!'

'Oh well, tough luck. Bobby wasn't worth it anyway.'

Everything she's saying is making sense, but doing something like that? Going out with someone and then breaking their heart? And I'm not talking about Bobby Lane. Potter, however much I hate him, has wanted to go out with me since first year, even though I personally can't understand what he sees in me. I don't think I can do something like that to him. Even to James Potter, who is my sworn enemy…it's wrong. It's against all of my morals and genes. As well as inheriting the hate-Potter gene, I also got the treat-others-the-way-you'd-like-to-be-treated gene. Of course, that gene somehow disappears when a certain Head Boy does something absolutely inexcusable.

'Come on, Lily. It's the perfect plan.'

Getting James Potter back for all the stupid stuff he's done in the past?

The opportunity is too great to pass up.

'Okay,' I say to Alice, as she grins at me. 'I'll do it.'


	2. The Ways In Which To Enlighten An Idiot

**A/N**: Here's the second chapter of **Time To Discover**. Please R&R – come on, that little blue button is just dying for use!

_In our last chapter:_

'Come on, Lily. It's the perfect plan.'

Getting James Potter back for all the stupid stuff he's done in the past?

The opportunity is too great to pass up.

'Okay,' I say to Alice, as she grins at me. 'I'll do it.'

**The Ways In Which To Enlighten An Idiot**

also known as

**Declarations On Top Of A Table**

But how exactly, I wonder, is the way to finally enlighten one Mr James Potter that I, Lily Evans, want to go out with him?

'You rock up to him and say, "Hey, Potter, I want to go out. Free next Hogsmeade weekend?"'

I look at Alice sceptically over my piece of toast. 'Alice, would you honestly ever ask a guy out like that?' She shrugs and I roll my eyes. 'Besides, the next Hogsmeade weekend's ages away.' I take a bite of toast and chew thoughtfully. 'And anyway, he wouldn't believe me. I'd have to call him James for him to believe me.'

'You're right.' Alice sighs. 'As always.' And then, with a sly grin, 'This Transfiguration homework's stumped me. Want to lend your best friend a hand?'

I hold my right hand out in front of her. 'What do you need it for?' I ask politely, and she slaps it away, glaring at me but laughing all the same.

'What's so funny?' Remus Lupin sits down next to us, grabbing a crumpet nearest to him.

I shake my head at him, giggling. 'Nothing.'

He looks at me weirdly but decides not to press the matter, thank Merlin, and asks me about the next prefect meeting. I always work out Head stuff with Remus – it's just less stressful that way. Organising things with him means I can talk about dates with someone who isn't involved completely with Quidditch, and will discuss things with me in a calm and rational manner, unlike Potter, who yells in agony if I even so much as mention a meeting that clashes with Quidditch training. But the ultimate plus side of working things out with Remus is that he can just tell Potter about the meetings, and the idiot can just work Quidditch around them. Potter has realised that I am serious about my Head Girl responsibilities, and if he messes with them he knows what will happen.

After deciding to have a meeting on Thursday afternoon, Remus leans back and surveys Alice and I. 'So, what's been going on?' he asks.

Alice shrugs. 'Not much.'

Remus looks at me. 'What about that huge screaming match you and James conducted yesterday afternoon?'

I flap the subject away with my hand. 'It was nothing. Want more pumpkin juice, Remus?'

He stares at me. 'Lily…'

I sigh. 'It was honestly nothing. Well, if by nothing you mean the one and only James Potter hexing my boyfriend so badly he's going to me in the hospital wing for the next week, then yeah, nothing's been going on.'

'Look, Bobby Lane's a git,' Remus tells me.

Sometimes I think that Remus and I are too close, considering one of his best friends happens to be my sworn enemy. 'So what? He was my git, and Potter had no right to treat him that way. He treats my boyfriends even worse than he treats Snape, Remus!'

'Well, I reckon that you probably mean more to him than Snape. And if getting your attention means hurting you boyfriends, then…'

'He's crazy to think that cursing my boyfriends will get his attention – sure, it gets my attention, but I'm not sure that turning him upside down so the entire Gryffindor common room can see his boxers is the kind of attention he's looking for.' I groan and drop my head into my hands. 'I want him to stop caring about me at all.'

Remus shakes his head, smiling. 'Sorry, Lily, but James has held out on you for seven years. I don't think he's going to stop any time soon.'

'You're his friend! Make him stop, please, Remus, I'm begging you. I'll do anything!' I've tried this one millions of times before, but maybe this time, if I'm persuasive enough, it just might work…

'If she'll do anything…make her give me her Transfiguration homework!' Alice grins. 'Come on, Remus, you know that's my worst subject, and I absolutely have to pass…'

'I'm not going to get Lily to give you her homework. I'll help you, if you want, Alice. Look, Lily, what's between you and James is between you and James, and only the two of you can figure out how to work it out.' He looks at me meaningfully.

So maybe Remus isn't as nice as I thought. I frown at him, deep in thought. Maybe Alice is right. Maybe the only way to stop Potter annoying me is to break his heart. Grumph. I don't want to do this at all.

'Who said my name?' Sirius asks as he plonks himself down next to Remus and helps himself to a huge serving of bacon, eggs, toast, roast tomatoes and sausages. Peter sits across from him, waving hello.

I ignore him and smile at Sirius. 'Got enough there, Sirius?' I ask sweetly.

He pauses and looks at me, a sausage already half-devoured. 'I'm a growing boy, Lily, you know that.'

'You don't need to grow any bigger,' I mutter. I barely come up to his shoulder when we're seated; I'm one of the smallest in the year.

Alice smiles gently and grabs my hand from across the table. 'I love you just the way you are.'

'And so do I.'

I grimace and close my eyes as I recognise the voice. James Potter.

He squeezes in beside me and takes my hand from Alice's. 'Lily,' he says seriously to me, his hand warm in mine, 'will you go out with me?'

Remus, Peter and Sirius sigh, roll their eyes, shake their heads, start talking loudly again, already knowing the response to the question. Merlin knows I've screeched it loud enough for all of Hogwarts to hear.

I want to yell, "not in your dreams, Potter!" but I have seen Bobby and broken it off. Alice and Remus are right; he is a git. A very handsome git, but a git all the same. We have nothing in common – except maybe a similar hatred of James Potter.

And although the opportunity to take Potter up on his offer could come again any time soon (knowing that wizard's world record of asking a certain redhead out 432 times in one day) I'd rather get it over with now. And his hand, still in mine, is warming up my cold fingers, making me feel slightly less violent towards him…

'O-Okay,' I say quietly, so quietly I'm not sure he's heard me.

His face has already fallen – he, like the other three Marauders, has heard my reply long enough to know what's coming next. He even lets go of my hand. But at my words his face lights up and he stares at me, his mouth hanging open.

Sirius pops a bit of toast in his mouth. 'Be careful, Prongs, any longer and the wind might change. Then we'd know why Lily keeps refusing you.'

James chews and swallows, still staring at me. He bends his head in towards me and asks softly, 'Pardon?'

I curse Alice and her stupid ideas silently. 'I'd, er, like to go out with you, Potter.'

He shakes his head. 'You're lying,' he says simply, tearing his eyes away from mine.

'I'm not. James…'

His eyes lock with mine. I feel my breath catch in my throat. Those eyes, those beautiful brown eyes…Hell, what is wrong with me this morning? His beautiful eyes? His warm hand? This is _Potter_ I'm talking about! I cannot be feeling this way about James Potter!

'You…you're serious,' he says in a low voice.

I shrug, starting to blush at his intense gaze.

'You called me James,' he says, his voice full of wonder.

'Um, yeah.' I smile gently. 'That is your name.'

He grabs my hand and I feel a shiver down my spine. Good grief, what is happening to me? I think I have to go down to Madam Giles and get her to give me a potion to remedy this tingly feeling I get when James Potter's hand lands in mine.'Really?'

I can't help but smile at his earnestness. 'Really, James.' I bend down and pick up my bag one handed – he's still holding tightly onto my hand. 'I have to go, I'll be late for Ancient Runes.'

I tear my hand from his and get up from the table, walking quickly between the house tables, wanting to get as far away from what just happened as possible, although James and I will probably never get a spare moment from each other now that I've agreed to go out with him.

I'm almost at the big wooden doors when I hear a loud cough. I turn and see James standing up on the Gryffindor house table, his wand at his throat, his voice twice as loud as his usual yell.

'I'd just like inform everybody,' he announces, turning around so that everyone can see him, 'that the beautiful Lily Evans has just agreed to go out with me.' He sweeps his arm in my direction, and then the entire hall is in uproar. Girls wail, guys catcall, people are applauding. This is an event unheard of in Hogwarts' history – well, it's unheard of for me, Lily Evans, to have agreed to go out with James Potter, and that's enough for the hall to be going mad. The teachers at the head table look appalled, except for Professor Slughorn, who is laughing as if it is all a big joke, and Hagrid, who looks bemused. Everyone is looking at me, watching as I grimace and then flee from the hall, wishing I could turn around and jinx Potter until he had no breath left.

**Acknowledgements**: I'd like to thank _embracing_, _cosmopolitan_, _Lacerta Evans-Potter_, _popkornchicken_, _DarthRoden_, _ohsnap its potter_ and _PurpleLight_. Your reviews meant so much to me – please keep writing them!


	3. Mothering

**A/N**: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter – it means so much to me so keep pressing that little, eager blue button, okay? Hope everyone likes this chapter, and hopefully there won't be such a long wait between this chapter and the next…

_In our last chapter_:

'I'd just like inform everybody,' he announces, turning around so that everyone can see him, 'that the beautiful Lily Evans has just agreed to go out with me.'

Everyone is looking at me, watching as I grimace and then flee from the hall, wishing I could turn around and jinx Potter until he had no breath left.

**Mothering**

also known as

**The Woman With The Unbelievable Bum**

'I cannot believe that he did that!' I mutter furiously to Alice through Defence Against the Dark Arts. Potter's extremely humiliating display has been the constant discussion since I left the Great Hall four periods ago.

'I know,' Alice mutters, her gaze firmly on Professor Friers, who is making the class write notes about the Unforgivable Curses from our books. Interesting lesson, this, considering we learnt about the Unforgivable Curses a couple of years ago with yet another Defence teacher. 'But Lily, you have to get over that, okay? Whatever mortification James has inflicted on you doesn't mean that you can just change your mind. You have to go out with him! It's for the good of Hogwarts! Imagine how pleasant this school would be without Potter proposing to you-'

'That particular habit of his is very disturbing.'

'Forget that singular habit – his unwavering attention to you these past seven years is disturbing. Trust me, to not have him badgering you would be pure bliss for everyone involved, including those who do not yet know Potter. You're not just doing this for yourself, Lily, but for the good of the nation!'

I roll my eyes. 'Have you gotten down off your soapbox yet, Alice?'

She glares at me. 'I just don't think you're going to do a good job pretending to love him if you're thinking of all the hexes you could lay on him.'

'I don't know about you, but if you had everyone in Hogwarts singing _What The World Needs Now_ when you passed through the corridors, at the prompting of James Potter, I'm not sure you'd be too receptive to the plan either.' I sigh. 'Why did I agree to do this, Alice? I hate him with my very heart and soul. He's repulsive and I can't stand him!'

'Well, you're just going to have to stand him,' Alice says grimly. 'Otherwise the plan will be useless, and Potter will torture you even more than before, knowing that there was a chance of you and him together.'

I glance around to look at the very man himself, sitting up the back of the classroom with Sirius next to him. They are deep in conversation, chuckling quietly and jabbing their wands at bits of papers and turning them into tiny pink panties that are twirling themselves in the hair of Amos Diggory.

'See?' I jab my finger at them. 'He's completely immature.'

Alice turns to look at what I'm scoffing at and stifles a laugh. 'Um, Lily, I think you need to get your sense of humour checked. That's funny.'

'Diggory doesn't need the embarrassment.'

'Oh, yes he does. After that appalling display of ego on the Quidditch pitch the other day…Did you see him after Hufflepuff beat Ravenclaw? He was smirking and giving out autographs. I ask you, how more pompous can you get if you're in a _school_ Quidditch match passing out _autographs_ to swooning girls?'

'They only won because the Ravenclaw Seeker broke his leg, right?'

'Exactly,' Alice fumes. She always gets much more worked up about Quidditch than I do. 'Slimy git. Thinks he owns the place because of an unfortunate fall…'

I turn back around and look at James. He catches my eye and sends a breeze of shooting stars towards me. They flutter around my neck and the breeze tickles my cheeks. The stars disappear as soon as I try to touch them, but a faint gold glitter remains on my robes and in my hair.

Alice looks at me, a smile tugging the corners of her mouth. 'At least he's romantic.'

I roll my eyes at her and start to create lovely flowery titles for each of the Unforgivable Curses, doing my very best to ignore a specific dark-haired, chocolate-eyed person in the back of the room.

III

'Lily!' It's James, trying to catch up to me as I sweep through the corridors on the way the Owlery.

I force a smile on my face and turn to greet him. 'Hey, James.'

He looks crazily happy and ruffles his hair self-consciously. 'How are you?'

'Fine, I guess.'

'Where are you going?'

'The Owlery. I need to send a letter to my mum.' I hold up a thick wad of parchment sealed with wax. 'Because she has absolutely no idea about magic she wants full updates explaining absolutely everything.'

He nods his head. 'Do you want to use my owl? I don't need her.'

'Er, yeah. Thanks.'

He leads the way up the stairs. 'So, both your parents are Muggles?'

'You already know the answer to that, James.'

He just looks at me, before resuming his way up the stairs.

'Haven't you heard a particular person yell out to the world that I'm a dirty Mudblood?'

He turns around sharply and once again I'm caught with his intense chocolate gaze. 'Don't say that. Don't talk like you're worth nothing, Lily, because you're not. You're worth so much more than that.'

I can't help smiling. Although he can be one of the most annoying gits on the planet, he's always been chivalrous when it comes to standing up to people who make comments about Mudbloods. Or, at least, he stands up to people who call _me_ a Mudblood.

We continue up to the Owlery in silence. He shows me his owl, a beautiful tawny creature called Sirius.

'You named your bird after Sirius?' Maybe chasing me was all to cover up his sexual preferences! That would certainly explain a lot.

'No, don't be daft.' He looks at me weirdly. 'Sirius bought him for me before I came to Hogwarts. Birthday present. He said he had never seen a more handsome owl, and therefore had to name him after the most handsome human being on the planet – ie himself.' He shrugs. 'By the time I got him, he wouldn't answer to anything else.'

My brilliant, oh-so-intelligent remark to that piece of information?   
'Oh. Right.'

He just chuckles at me.

I send the bird off with my letter and we watch him fly away until he's just a black splotch in the darkening horizon.

James opens the door gallantly for me and we dodge to the side as a couple of third years make their way up the steps. We start back down and James grabs my hand in his. Although it feels wonderful – what the hell am I thinking? This is insane! I need to go to Madam Giles immediately – I pull away and turn to him. I need to lay down a few rules so that this can be as painless as possible – for both of us.

'Look, James, we have to talk about…this.'

He looks genuinely concerned. 'What about this?'

'You and I.'

'Ah.' He gives me a little grin and my stomach drops somewhere around my knees. I must be coming down with something. There is no way that my genetic make-up would let me feel anything for one of James Potter's smiles.

'I'd just like to tell you a few things.'

'Okay.' He's close to laughing, I know, but I can't help myself. I need to make sure that he doesn't come too close to me. Hopefully in the event of us going out I won't have to get my body too near his. This plan is extremely faulty, as he's seen how close I can get with other guys – there was a particularly nasty incident when he charmed the cupboard door open where I was with Andrew Cummings…

The point is I don't want him too close to me.

'I'm not very good with affection. So, um, no public displays of…fondness. That thing in the Great Hall – not me. Never will be. It's humiliating and I personally don't like everyone in Hogwarts knowing my personal business.'

James shrugs. 'Look, Lils, if we didn't give them something to talk about, where would they be? Wondering about teachers' love lives, that's what, and let me tell you, that is extremely detrimental to their education. Why can't they know what their Heads are doing?'

'Because my name is Lily Evans, not James Potter,' I growl. 'You might find it interesting, having everyone in Hogwarts knowing your business, but for me I need my privacy, Potter, okay?'

'I thought you were calling me James.'

_Oops_. 'I am, but not if you keep bugging me!'

He scowls. 'Okay, fine, no public displays of affection. Anything else?'

'I really, really want to get good NEWTS this year, okay? So when I'm studying, I'm studying, and there's no interrupting me. No toad spawn down my robes or…or bewitching my hair to flap in my face while I'm writing, or…

He smiles at me and shakes his head. 'You're unbelievable, Lily Evans.'

I stop walking and stare at him, my hands on my hips. 'How am I unbelievable?'

He stops too, and takes my hands in his. 'You're unbelievable because I've waited for seven years for you, Lily. You're the only one I ever wanted. And you think that I'd do something so stupid like dropping toad spawn down your back? Do you think I'd do anything you didn't want now that I have you right here with me?' He touches my forehead and smoothes out the consternation. His touch makes my heart beat faster and I try not to shiver. He cups my face with his hand, and says softly, 'Lils, I just want you to be happy.'

This cannot be James Potter. James Potter doesn't care about anyone but himself. Nothing will stop him from pranking someone. He's immature and ridiculous. But this guy in front of me is not only one of the better-looking males in Hogwarts, he happens to be lovely and mature and responsible and only wants for me to be happy!

'You're also unbelievable because I have never seen someone with quite a lovely bum as you too.'

Or not.

I raise my eyebrows at him and he laughs.

'Just joking, Lily! You've got an unbelievably beautiful face too, if that makes up for it?' He leans in closer.

_Don't make this harder on you than it already will be!_ My head screams at me. _Get his heart and then get the hell out of there! That's the deal_.

So instead of leaning in too and kissing him, which is his obvious plan, I pull away and look down at my feet.

He looks at me with slight disappointment in his eyes, but doesn't dwell on it. 'So no repeating what happened in the Great Hall the other day,' he says, taking me by the hand and leading me down the last few steps. 'I get it, Lily.'

'Okay,' I say uncertainly, still wondering at the sudden change in his character. He begins to guide me down the stairs and I pull my hand out of his. 'I can walk by myself, James.'

'Call me James once more and I'll never do it again.'

'Do I have to?'

'Yes.'

I roll my eyes. 'Fine, _James_.'

He clutches his heart dramatically. 'That's all I ever ask!' he cries. 'Just my name uttered by the most beautiful girl in Hogwarts.'

I go red at his words.

'Even when she's blushing she is still gorgeous. It's very unfair.'

I sigh at him and he ruffles his hair. I grab his hand and put it back at his side.

'And no hair ruffling.'

'Okay, Mother.'

**Acknowledgements**: I know that FanFiction was having some repairs or something a while ago, and I know that some people tried to review and couldn't, but it seems to be functioning fine now. I'm really sorry if you reviewed and I didn't get it…

So for those people whose reviews I did get:

I'd like to thank _embracing_, _PurpleLight_,_ popkornchicken_,_ ohsnap its potter_,_ Burgirhig_,_ Leigh A. Sumpter_,and_ Emma_.


	4. Songs And Potions

**A/N**: Hello again! Big workload this week but I managed to get some serious James/Lily time in, and this is what came out. I hope you all enjoy it, and don't hate me too much for the cliffhanger ending…

_In our last chapter_:

This cannot be James Potter. James Potter doesn't care about anyone but himself. Nothing will stop him from pranking someone. He's immature and ridiculous. But this guy in front of me is not only one of the better-looking males in Hogwarts, he happens to be lovely and mature and responsible and only wants for me to be happy!

**Songs and Potions**

also known as

**Ominous Gurgling Noises**

James is waiting for me at the bottom of the girls' staircase when I come down for breakfast. I stare at him. Ever since I had agreed to go out with the toe-rag scum that is Potter, my life has been going from bad to worse. The sweet side of him, the side I thought I could easily pretend to like, the side I glimpsed that day when we were at the Owlery, has disappeared. Instead, I've been having constant headaches with all the singing of what Potter deems to be 'beautiful songs expressing the utter joy of my love for you'. Sirius' smart-arse comments about how I've 'finally let the world see your true love and devotion for my best mate, Prongs here' are starting to grate.

This morning I woke up feeling sick, with Marie singing about the joys of love (is it only me that thinks that love deserves a good kick up the backside?) while I got dressed. My cat Rupert scratched me right up my leg because I trod on his tail. Henrietta, who has the memory of a goldfish and the vanity of a supermodel, asked three times whether her bum looked big in her school robes.

But James waiting for me to emerge from the girls dormitory has meant that this morning has definitely made my own record of worst ever beginning-to-a-day. And there hadn't been a single ounce of magic used for the dreadfulness of it, to make it even worse.

Alice ignores James and I and starts packing up her books, which she left in front of the fire last night after she stole the two best chairs from scared first years. I had been too dazed from the headache I had from the entire common room joining in with James after dinner to sing _If Not For You_ to pay much attention to the injustice of the situation, otherwise I would have been where I usually am of a night, up the back of the common room with the largest table where I can fit all my books.

'What are you doing?' I ask James as he leans ever-so-casually on the banister. His hand rumples up his hair and I glare at him. His arm drops by his side and he gives a small smile.

'I'm waiting for my beautiful girlfriend.'

I shiver. I'm his girlfriend now. I'm going out with my sworn enemy. I bet we'd make a good daytime soap. 'No public displays of affection,' I parrot to him, joining Alice at the portrait hole.

'What, so a man can't escort the woman of his dreams to a simple breakfast?'

I'm about to send him a withering look when Alice smiles at him and says, 'Fine, come on, Romeo.'

I round to her and raise my eyebrows at her.

She shrugs, and then turns to leave the room. I'm about to follow her when James sticks out his hand to open the portrait hole for me. I grimace at him and when he follows me out I feel obligated to make sure that this plan doesn't fail, no matter how insane it seems to me.

'I'm in a bad mood today,' I tell him.

He chuckles. 'I know you think I'm stupid, Lily, but I'm not blind.'

'Just…don't take it personally,' I say quietly, casting my eyes downward and hurriedly following Alice along the corridor down to breakfast.

We pass Peeves on the way and as soon as the poltergeist sees us his face lights up. My day is about to get much, much worse.

'Look who it is! Potty-head and Miss Priss!'

'Peeves, shut up,' I sigh.

'And don't call her Miss Priss,' James adds.

'Like that's going to stop him,' Alice mutters.

'Exactly right, Plumpy.'

Alice turns red and I swivel to face Peeves, angry. 'Go away, Peeves. Unscrew another chandelier or something.'

He blows a raspberry at me.

'I swear, Peeves, I'll have the Bloody Baron on your case.'

'The Bloody Baron doesn't answer to anyone,' Peeves retorts.

'He will once he finds out a certain ghost went into his private chambers the other night and had a snoop around.'

Peeves glares at me. 'I'll get you back for that, Priss,' he says angrily. He then follows the three of us down the hall, resorting to the old sing-song,

_Potty and Priss sitting in a tree_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G_…

'Very clever, Peeves,' James says. 'I see you know your kindergarten rhymes.'

But Peeves won't be distracted and by the time we reach the Great Hall I have the song spinning around in my head so fast it's making me dizzy.

'I feel sick,' I groan as Alice passes me some toast. 'Could Peeves have sung that song any louder?'

'Probably,' Sirius says with his mouth full.

I glare at him and he wisely backs off.

'I'd get over it, Lils,' Alice says, as Remus pours me some pumpkin juice out of sympathy. 'Peeves pisses everyone off constantly. If it bothers you you're letting him win!'

Have I mentioned how competitive Alice is? In Quidditch, with the plan, and now with Peeves. And she's a disaster at Wizard's Chess.

I wish I could ignore Peeves but he just doesn't hit everyone else's sore spots the way he does with mine. When people sing that kissing song they're just trying to rile people up because it's not true – what's riling me up is that it most unfortunately _is_. Not that I've let Potter get anywhere near that close to me, but still…I know it can't be too much longer before my lips do have to land on his…

I try not to gag at the thought and instead force myself to eat a piece of toast. It's almost nine by the time the others have finished their breakfast and James, Alice, Sirius, Remus and I have to hurry to the dungeons for Slughorn's Potions lesson. Peter is the only one out of the Marauders that didn't get into Potions, probably because Slughorn found out about a bad trade his father did with a warlock back in the late thirties. Slughorn's ridiculous about those things.

I trudge into the lesson, wishing today could be over. I'm glad that Slughorn is impressed with my ability in Potions – although I can't equal Snape, who's brilliant at potions but hated by our professor – but today his fawning wants to make me throw up.

'Hello, my dear Miss Lily!' he announces the second I walk through the door.

'Hi, Professor,' I mumble, taking my chair in the first row next to Alice. I rub my head. I must be coming down with something, it can't just be Potter that's making me feel so ill.

'Feeling a bit under the weather today, Lily?' Slughorn asks jovially. 'Perhaps today we should whip up some headache remedies?'

My stomach's turning and I wish I could rustle up one of my usual cheeky replies so that he doesn't linger around my table too long but my head hurts too much to think very hard. So instead I have to resort to simply smiling at him. 'I'm fine, honestly, Professor.'

He just raises his eyebrows at me. I know he doesn't believe me – I know I'm as pale as a ghost this morning and definitely not my usual self. Because everyone else has arrived, Slughorn claps his hands together and the chatting ceases.

'In the event of the dear Miss Lily Evans here feeling a little off this morning, I have decided that today we will brew Tummy-Turning Tonic. The student who develops the best concoction will be the lucky one to cure Lily of whatever nausea she may be feeling this morning.'

I'm starting to feel even worse, if that's even possible. I thought he liked me. But now it is clear that Slughorn hates me. All those invitations to Slug Club Meetings that I have always managed to religiously avoid, and all the cups of tea he's offering to me when I'm passing by on weekends, everything has just been hiding his natural tendency towards insanity. Or it could have nothing to do with his mental instability – it could just be a hatred for short redheads.

'What in Merlin's name is he thinking?' Alice hisses. 'He could poison you!' She grabs me and holds me tight. 'Sure, we may be capable seventh years soon to be making our own way in the world, but that doesn't mean that I want you to take someone's potion!' She glances furtively around the room. 'What if you had to take Sirius' potion? You know how he goes mad for Bubotuber pus. And what about Bertha Poltuney? She forgets what ingredient she's put in her potion before she has to add another. And…' She opens her eyes dramatically, clutching her heart. 'Snape!'

'What about him?'

'If you had to take his potion, which you will probably end up doing since he's the best in the class, I'm sure he would personally try to poison you.'

'Alice, stop being so dramatic. Snape isn't so bad…'

She lets me go. 'You're crazy, Lily.' She shakes her head. 'What's the deal with you sticking up for him all the time, anyway? He's a greasy snotball who's been nothing but rude and horrible to you and all your friends. And you're still nice to him because…'

'Because he's a human being. Does there need to be any other reason?'

'There has to be, Lils. He's called you a Mudblood more times than I can count, in front of everyone, and it's great that you can just keep so cool and calm when he's so horrible to you, but he deserves to die for hurting you like that. Even if you don't admit that it does hurt you.' She stares at me intently. 'I know you, Evans,' she says seriously, using Potter's old nickname for me. 'I know when you're lying. And I know that Snape's bad news. And you have a natural tendency to trust people and I'm just worried that one day it's going to come and bite you on the bum.'

I don't answer her and instead I try to lighten up the atmosphere. Or at least change the extremely touchy subject.

'Well, maybe Slughorn's just joking about giving me this tonic.'

She can see straight through me and rolls her eyes at my pitiful change of subject. I start to take down the notes that Slughorn has conjured up on the board and she goes off to get the ingredients we both need from the store cupboard.

She's right about so many things – when Snape verbally abuses me I shrug it off, I try not to blink, but it does hurt. It's impossible not to. And I'm not going to tell anyone how much it affects me; it's something I need to deal with by myself. Snape's mean and nasty but I still want him to have a chance of getting it right.

It's not a very difficult potion to make but I find myself drifting off and missing stirs and particular ingredients. Alice keeps moaning at me whenever I miss a step. Somehow I don't think I'll be taking my own tonic today. I guess it's just up to the rest of the class.

And Alice's words about the ability of this class are starting to worry me. I've messed up my potion beyond repair and so I start to look around at the rest of the class to see how they're all doing.

Remus' potion is purple instead of red, and Alice's is light pink. James' potion has ended up green. I think he put in too much silverskin shavings. And I don't even want to look at Sirius'. The rotten smell emerging from his cauldron is enough of an indication of how he's faring.

Alice's worst fears may just come to pass – when I look over at Snape's cauldron I see a perfect blood-red liquid.

I look down at mine. It's the colour it's supposed to be but too thick and gloopy, and is making ominous gurgling noises. When Slughorn calls for us to put down our equipment and take our cauldrons off their stands, I know my fate.

He takes his time wandering about the room, commenting on the each tonic and the good and bad qualities about it, although he doesn't mention Sirius' mess and when he comes to me the huge smile across his large face seems to slip. For the first time he looks worried.

'Are you okay, my dear?' he asks quietly.

I shrug. 'Not really, Professor.'

He frowns but thankfully turns around and inspects Snape's cauldron.

'This young man has made the tonic to perfection,' he remarks. 'Lily, you shall be well soon enough. Just let me get a glass vial and then we shall see how much better you are!'

I catch James' eye. He looks furious – at Snape and the fact that I have to take his potion – but there's also actual fear in his eyes, and it seems to be contagious, because when Slughorn brings the vial to me I can feel myself shaking.

'Don't drink it!' Alice begs me as Slughorn hands it to me. 'He'll poison you!'

I look over at Snape. He is watching me very carefully. Everything else that I have tried to do to show him that I'm not like the others – that at least I try to be nice to him even though he's completely horrid back – doesn't match up to this. Taking this potion means that I will show him once and for all that Lily Evans trusts him and it's about time that he started treating her properly.

And with that thought in mind, I lift the potion and pour it down my throat.

The last thing I hear is Alice's screams and a bang as something falls over.

**Acknowledgements**: Lots of hugs go out to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. A special shout out to _embracing_, who yells at me and tells me I am great even when I'm feeling like I'm writing my worst ever, and to my two gorgeous girls over on the other side of the bridge that squeal whenever I update.

Thanks to: _cosmopolitan_, _ohsnap its potter_, _Leigh A. Sumpter_, _PurpleLight_, _MorganisM-Lve_, _Stacy_ and _shmokey-bear_, as well as _popkornchicken_ and _burgirhig_, who didn't physically review but told me they loved it the next day at school anyway.


	5. Protecting Lily Evans

**A/N**: Hello again, here I am, updating a bit earlier than usual – this chapter is perhaps a bit shorter than the rest, but I felt bad leaving you on a cliff hanger like that! Please keep reviewing, because they brighten up my day and they keep me writing. Anyway, here it is, a'rocking and a'rolling to **Protecting Lily Evans**.

_In our last chapter_:

Taking this potion means that I will show him once and for all that Lily Evans trusts him and it's about time that he started treating her properly.

And with that thought in mind, I lift the potion and pour it down my throat.

The last thing I hear is Alice's screams and a bang as something falls over.

**Protecting Lily Evans**

also known as

**She'll Be Dandy**

When I open my eyes my vision is blurry. The ceiling above me is pale with brown trimmings. With two green blobs right in the middle.

'Oh, thank Merlin, she's awake!'

Okay, so maybe it's not a ceiling.

'Alice?' I croak.

A warm hand touches my forehead. 'It's okay, Lily,' Alice tells me. 'You're okay.'

'I can't see anything.'

'It's a side effect,' my best friend tells me. 'Madam Giles said you'd be back to normal by the end of the day.'

I start to panic. 'What day is it?'

She smoothes my hair back. 'Same day, honey. You were only out for about an hour.'

I relax and another body moves on the bed.

'Who's that?' I ask.

'It's James.' It's only then do I realise that he's holding my hand. It feels so warm and comfortable and right in mine I had barely noticed. Maybe that potion knocked me about more than I thought – this hand business? What's going on with me?

But I need to concentrate on why I am here in the hospital wing, rather than why Potter's hand feels so good in mine.

'What happened?'

'With the potion, you mean?' Alice asks.

I nod, then stop because my head is pounding.

'Well, Snape says he didn't do it on purpose, but it seems that he added too much of something, I don't know, I wasn't really listening, I was too worried about you, but the combination of that with whatever cold you have worked together to knock you out.'

I give a croaky laugh. 'Last time I ever take a potion of his when I'm feeling this off.'

I know Alice is itching to say 'I told you so' – along with her own additional 'I told you so' dance – but she doesn't, thankfully.

'We thought you had died,' James says quietly. I can tell from the sharp glint of his glasses that he's looking at our entwined hands. 'You were out cold, and there was red stuff everywhere because you had somehow bumped the table when you fell and it made your cauldron fall and spill all your potion, and you had a huge bruise that was getting darker with each second on your head where you had hit the table…'

I feel my forehead. Sure enough, there's a painful lump.

'Snape must have thought that he had poisoned you – and that's what the rest of the class thought, too – and he grabbed a bezeor out of the supply cupboard and somehow got to you – which was a feat in itself, considering James and I were on our knees shaking you to try and get you awake – and then he put it down your throat before anything else could happen.'

'And all the time Slughorn was just sitting there, as if he couldn't believe his eyes,' James says. 'You think he would've acted quicker or something, but no.'

'So…I was poisoned?'

Alice shakes her head quickly. 'No. We're still not really sure what happened.' She glances over the top of me to James. His hand grips mine tighter. 'Like I said, it was probably the combination of potion and being so sick, but whether Snape put something in on purpose to knock you out and completely freak us all out…'

'Usually when you're poisoned you have some sort of seizure, and you can turn blue. But you didn't do any of those things.' I want to ask where James found all that stuff out, but there seem to be bigger things at hand to ask.

'But Snape tried to save me. Right?'

'Well, technically…'

'Obviously he thought I was being poisoned, to grab a bezeor – something that will remedy any poison if it's down your throat soon enough…' I shake my head. 'I never thought he'd do something like that.'

'Ever though he might not have wanted a murder on his hands?' Alice asks cynically.

'He must have some compassion if he was willing to get that bezeor down my throat.'

My eyes must be getting better, because I can see Alice's eyes probing mine.

'I guess…'

'Is she awake? Do you two have extremely short-term memories? Did I or did I not tell you that you had to come to me directly when she woke up?' A big woman with frizzy black hair comes bustling up. Alice gets up off the bed to make room for her. James stays where he is, his hand still tight in mine.

'Hello, Madam Giles,' I say.

'Hello dear. How are you feeling?'

_Terrible_. 'Not too bad.'

'You had a nasty fall, young lady, and I'm guessing that bruise will be around for a while.' She rubs some nasty green ointment into the wound as she's telling me this. Her touch is gentle and soothing. 'And with that potion business…What Professor Slughorn was thinking, letting a student – one who doesn't have the best reputation, to make matters worse – letting that student give another student a potion…You may be relieved to know that Professor Dumbledore has been having a word to him.'

She leans back from her work and pulls out a small glass vial of yellow liquid. 'This is just a potion to get you back on your toes, okay?' She smiles. 'I promise it hasn't been concocted by a student.'

I give a weak grin and gulp down the potion. It doesn't taste too bad, but as soon as I give it back to her I start to feel sleepy.

'Now, you'll feel tired, and I want you to have a nap before dinner. And you're in here overnight, just to make sure there aren't any more side effects.' She looks at Alice and James. 'Not too much longer, hear me? She needs to rest.'

She gets up from the bed and shuffles away to her office.

'We won't stay too much longer,' Alice reassures me, returning to my side.

'I'm not sure I want to stay in here overnight,' I tell her.

'You'll be fine,' James says. 'I've been in here overnight before, recovering from a Quidditch injury. Ask for a sleeping tonic and you'll be dandy. But before we go, I need to show you something. With Snape and the poisoning and everything, I'm just thinking that you need some extra protection.' He lets go of my hand. Suddenly I feel cold, and shiver unconsciously. 'Sirius and I ordered some back up.'

'What do you mean by _back up_?' I ask, but before James can answer Sirius comes into the hospital wing, flanked by two huge fifth years that look like they could murder someone with a single look.

'Hey, Lily,' Sirius says cheerfully. 'Good to see you're awake.'

'This is Lawrence, and this is Rupert,' James announces, going to stand by Sirius, who is looking at the two boys gleefully. 'They've agreed to be your bodyguards. They'll follow you around the corridors to make sure no one tries anything funny. And when you're in class we worked out that at least one of the Marauders would be conveniently in the same room as you at any one time, and so we'll all keep an eye on you to make sure this never happens again.'

I keep staring at the two huge guys in front of me. I can't tell them apart. They're wearing the exact same expression, one of complete boredom.

I feel silly asking them this, but I guess, being Head Girl, someone has to show some responsibility. 'Wouldn't getting me to class mean that they'd be late for their own classes?' I ask tentatively.

'They said it's not a problem.'

'Now, Lily, for the most exciting part,' Sirius announces, and with a flourish I can see why he was looking so excited. The boys turn around and, magically stuck to the back of their robes are the words, '_Lily Evans' Bodyguards_'.

I turn to Alice. 'Did you know anything about this?'

She shakes her head. 'No, but I can see some positives to this arrangement.'

I groan. 'I don't need bodyguards, you two. I can handle myself fine.'

'It's just for extra protection, Lily,' James says soothingly. 'You won't even notice that they're there. Trust me.'

Perhaps it's because of my weakened and exhausted physical state, or perhaps it's because Potter is looking at me with those chocolate eyes, I don't know, but I nod my head.

'Okay.'

**Acknowledgements**: Thank you so much to all those people who reviewed – _PurpleLight_; _ohsnap its potter_; _Leigh A. Sumpter_;_ dracosbabygrl_; _embracing_;_ shmokey-bear_;_ Burgirhig_;_ girl from across the bridge_;_ MorganisM-Lve_; and_ popkornchicken_. A big hug also goes out to my other girl from across the bridge, who reads these through emails. Thank you all so much again!


	6. Lake Water In October Can Be Cold

**A/N**: Hey – it's me, yet again. I hope everyone's had a very happy beginning of winter (or summer, depending where you are). Because it's a public holiday here in Australia on account of the Queen's Birthday, I decided to listen to loud music and update in jolly celebratory spirit, and to answer some of your questions. For those people that told me Lily should have bucked up more at James finding bodyguards for her – she had just been poisoned by Snape and had hit her head, hard, on the stone floor. Not to mention she had just taken a potion to make her sleep. Somehow I don't think that she'd be making much fuss about James' slightly immature actions. Also, there were some others that are getting cross at the lack of James/Lily action, and so I tried to get some more sweet stuff in here. But everyone should realise that Lily's a stubborn girl and it's going to take a while for her to come to terms that James is the right guy for her. But she will, trust me.

So, now that that's over and done with, here's the next part of **Time To Discover** – in this chapter you'll meet a person who I think is very important to Harry in the books. I've taken liberties with the dates so that she could be in it, because I love her and I think that she will do Lily a lot of good. Anyhoo, please disregard all homework and chores and whatnot to send me even a single word of what you thought of this chapter – reviews, however short they are, encourage me to keep writing all this lovely Lily and James fluffy goodness. So…buckle your seatbelts and away we go to **Lake Water In October Can Be Cold**.

_In our last chapter_:

I groan. 'I don't need bodyguards, you two. I can handle myself fine.'

'It's just for extra protection, Lily,' James says soothingly. 'You won't even notice that they're there. Trust me.'

Perhaps it's because of my weakened and exhausted physical state, or perhaps it's because Potter is looking at me with those chocolate eyes, I don't know, but I nod my head.

'Okay.'

**Lake Water In October Can Be Cold**

also known as

**Misdemeanours And Blue Sticky Stuff**

As it turns out, the bodyguards aren't that bad. I've discovered that they're very persuasive. Initially they were following me into the girls' bathroom and even trying to get up the girls' staircase in the Gryffindor common room. The mortifying thing wasn't that they were trying to get up there, to me – although it was pretty humiliating – it was the fact that every time they'd attempt to scramble up the ridiculous slide I couldn't help thinking of Potter. Of the fact that whenever he tried to follow me up the staircase he always managed to keep his pride, even though as of yet he hasn't mastered the art of reaching the landing. Not for want of trying…

Anyway, after I threatened the Apes (so named because of their appearance and their constant expression of stupidity) with a hex so strong even their parents would run away from them screaming, they decided that it would be safest to just watch me in the corridors, and at a distance in the common room and during meals.

Often I wonder why they're supposedly 'protecting' me at all – James is taking care of that. He barely leaves my side all day, much to the annoyance of Sirius, who after an hour of watching me as carefully as James, decided he was sick of the game. Unfortunately, for both him and I, James looks like he has no intention of giving up on hounding me.

However, on Saturday morning I escape from his torturous hold.

Well, maybe it's not so bad as a 'torturous hold', but I do need my privacy from time to time.

'Come with me to Quidditch practice,' he begs, during breakfast.

'No way, James.'

'Come on. Who would pass up the opportunity of seeing yours truly flying?'

'Ah, that would be me.'

'Lily…'

'James, no!'

He sulks, his eyes dark and his mouth turned down. He crosses his arms for an even greater effect. Alice stifles a giggle. 'Look at him. Come on, Lily, you can't resist a face like that.'

'I can and I will.'

'You need to be protected!' he insists. 'I need to be close so if danger comes…'

'I've got the Apes, I'll be fine.'

He glares at me. He doesn't appreciate my nickname for Lawrence and Rupert.

I try to make it up to him. He is, after all, my boyfriend, however much it makes me feel like gagging. 'I would come, James, but I honestly can't. I've got my last check-up with Madam Giles today.'

'Well, I finish practise after lunch. Meet me after.'

How can I say no?

'Fine. Where do you want to go?'

His face lights up. 'Down by the beech tree, by the Lake. It's probably the last time we'll get proper sun before Christmas – we better make it last. Okay?'

I shrug. 'Yeah, that's fine.'

He leans over and pecks me on the cheek, then draws back sharply. 'Sorry,' he mutters. 'No public affection.'

I can't help smiling. 'You're learning,' I tell him, and he grins back, getting up from the table and bidding everyone goodbye.

Alice leans over from the opposite side of the table. 'You've got him exactly where you want him!'

'Thunderbirds are go,' I reply, and at her confused expression I take the opportunity to leave too.

'I'll see you at dinner, okay?' I get up from the table and immediately Lawrence and Rupert are at my side. I roll my eyes and continue my conversation with Alice. 'What are you doing today, anyway? It's like I barely see you on the weekends anymore, and we happen to be confined to the same grounds. There isn't many places to go.'

She gives a mysterious smile. 'I'm around,' she says. 'I meet up with friends.'

'You're being very baffling,' I tell her.

She laughs. 'I'd advise you to go. Those two behind you are looking bored.'

I glance behind me. 'How can you tell?'

She just waves me away, laughing.

III

I tell the Apes to wait for me when I get to the hospital wing. They look at each other, and I interpret that as being unsure at what to do – obey James, who has given them the proper instructions, or obey me, a girl who is very fast with her wand and wouldn't hesitate to curse them into oblivion, as they have seen me do too many times with Potter.

I tell them that they've made the right choice when they sit down outside the hospital wing door.

I can't see Madam Giles when I come in through the hospital wing.

'Madam Giles?' I call.

'What?' It's not Madam Giles' voice.

'Who's that?' I ask, edging nearer to the office, where the voice is coming from, my hand grappling for my wand. It seems to be stuck in my jean pocket. Perhaps the Apes should have come in with me…

A woman comes out. Her red hair is falling out of its messy braid and her hands are full of something blue and sticky.

'Merlin! Molly!' I ignore the fact that my friend has unidentifiable blue stuff in her hands, stop struggling for my wand and rush over to hug her.

'Lily!' she exclaims, as we embrace. 'What on earth are you doing in here?' She looks me up and down. 'You don't look sick.'

'I could ask the same thing of you.'

She laughs. 'I'm not. I'm actually doing a Healing apprenticeship here. Arthur and I are trying to save some money to buy a house. We've been living in a tiny little apartment but now that we're really starting to think about the future…'

I grin. I have known Molly since I started Hogwarts, when she helped me find my first Charms class. When she left Hogwarts two years ago she was planning to move in with her boyfriend Arthur and start a Healing course. 'It's really coming along for you, then?'

She nods, a blush creeping up from her ears across to her cheeks. She looks so cute. 'Yeah, I guess it is.' She offers her hand out, and beneath the blue muck I can see a small diamond ring.

My mouth drops open. 'You're engaged!'

She smiles self-consciously. 'Yeah.'

'That's fantastic! You deserve to be so happy, Molly.'

She seems to notice the blue stuff on her outstretched hand and ushers me into the office. 'Come in, and I'll get this cleaned up, and we can talk.'

'What are you doing, anyway?' I glance around at all the pastries covering the tiny table, bench and even the floor of the small room, punctuated only by bowls of the blue substance. Molly's wand is lying haphazardly on the table, completely covered in the blue sticky stuff.

She picks up her wand and the mess on her hands and wand disappears. 'I'm working on creating headache cures through food. That blue stuff is the remedy, but it tastes disgusting. So I'm trying to put it in foods to make it more enjoyable for those who are sick.'

'Wow. You should've been here last week.'

She glances up from putting some chocolate biscuits in a plastic container. 'Why?'

'I had a headache. A really bad one, which Slughorn happened to notice, causing him to set our class the task of creating a potion to cure me of my nausea.' I shrug. 'The short version is what with me being sick, combined with whatever potion it was completely knocked me out. Which is why I'm here – for my last check-up.'

Molly shakes her head, laughing. 'Slughorn's a fool. Whose potion did you end up taking?'

'Snape's.'

She stands up quickly, spilling some shortbread. 'Oh, thank Merlin you're okay. What was Slughorn thinking?'

'Exactly what Alice said.'

'I bet the four Marauders weren't too happy about it.'

I shake my head. 'Well, James wasn't. And Remus was worried. But I think Sirius has gotten over my near-death.'

She raises her eyebrows at me. 'Good grief, how much have I missed? Since when have you started referring to James Potter by his first name?'

I bite my lip. Molly _has_ missed a lot going on around here. 'Since I started going out with him.'

It's her turn for her mouth to drop open. 'You're kidding me.'

'I wish I were. I'm going out with him, Moll.'

'I need to sit down.' She bustles me out of the office and we sit down on one of the beds. 'Why, Lily? I mean, sure, he's very lovely and romantic and all, but you always ignored that. You hate him with the fire of a thousand suns!'

I laugh. 'Nice Shakespeare reference, Molly. Where did you find that one?'

She shrugs self-consciously. 'You know how Arthur loves all things Muggle. He used to woo me with some of those sonnets. But that's by the by. You hate James.' She looks at me, still shocked. 'At least, the last time I heard you hated him.'

Alice is the only other person who knows about the plan. But I trust Molly and I know she won't tell anyone.

'I do hate him. That's why I'm going out with him.'

'How does that work?'

'Well, the plan is to go out with him, and then once he's completely infatuated, break up with him, ensuing that he never annoys me again.'

She stares at me. 'That's horrible!'

Under her intense gaze I feel guilty and ashamed. 'I know. It was Alice's idea, and I was opposed to it initially. But then I started to see the positives. He'll never annoy me again, after seven years of horrible pranks. I mean, he curses anyone who he doesn't like or who says something that he doesn't approve of. He's arrogant and idiotic and immature. And if this is the only way that we can show him that his pranks aren't funny, then so be it. At least his head will deflate slightly, so he doesn't keep thinking he's God's gift to women.' She's still looking at me uncertainly, and so I sigh. 'Trust me, Molly, if he had hexed Arthur so that you couldn't recognise him for all the batwings sprouting from his face, you'd be angry too.'

She smiles, shaking her head. 'You're in for it, Lily.'

'In for what?'

'This plan has too many flaws to work,' she tells me seriously, 'you have realised that?'

I shrug, ducking my head. 'Um…I was kind of just going along with it.'

'James Potter, however big his head is and whatever he's done to the female population of Hogwarts, is too sweet to deserve something like this, especially from someone he's been trying to go out with since first year.' She shrugs. 'Maybe I think that way because he's only ever been lovely to me, but still. It's just _slightly_ harsh. And manipulative.'

'I know,' I mumble.

'And one more thing,' she adds. 'You need to understand that this plan has every possibility of coming back and hurting you more than you realise.'

I sigh. 'You really think so?'

She laughs. 'I'm pretty sure I know so.'

'What's going on?'

James is standing in the middle of the doorway, a frown on his face, which quickly breaks into a huge grin as Molly and I turn around to look at him.

'You're not Madam Giles,' he says, coming over and sizing Molly up. 'What are you doing here?'

'Healing apprenticeship,' Molly says.

'What are _you_ doing here?' I ask James.

'Picking you up.' He turns to Molly. 'Did she tell you that her and I are finally going out? It was a struggle, Molly, but I finally won this ice damsel's heart.'

I beg Molly with my eyes to not say anything. She just smiles and nods at James. 'She did tell me that. Congratulations.'

James grins. 'Thanks. Hey, Lils, I told Lawrence and Rupert they could go. I'll protect you for the rest of the day.'

I roll my eyes at Molly. 'I forgot to mention that he hired bodyguards for me.'

She laughs. 'It's good to be back.'

'So, you ready to go?'

I look questioningly at Molly. She waves her wand and a wizard thermometer appears in my mouth, explaining my temperature, how much water is in my body and a dozen other things I don't get to look at before Molly takes it from my mouth and studies it carefully.

'Keep your fluids up, but apart from that you're completely fine. Just keep away from potions made by students.'

'Can do.' I get up and James slips his hand into mine. I must be cold because I get shivers up my spine.

'Come and see me if you're free, sometime,' Molly says. 'I'd love to talk again.'

'I will,' I promise, and James drags me away.

III

'I shouldn't really be out here,' I tell James as we walk over to his favourite beech tree, where we have the best view of the castle and the craggy mountains. 'I have a lot of homework to do and-'

'Lily, can you do something for me?'

'Depends on what it is.'

He pulls me down onto the green grass, right near the water's edge. 'Can you shut up and just savour the day? It's the last blue sky you'll see in a while, let me assure you.'

I close my mouth and watch him as he lies back, closing his eyes. I keep watching him until he cracks open an eyelid.

'That doesn't look like you're savouring the day.'

'I am.'

He drags me down so I collapse on his chest. 'That's better,' he says, closing his eyes once more.

I rest my head on his chest, my heart beating ridiculously fast. I think I should have stayed with Molly. I don't think she read that thermometer right, because obviously I'm not okay, if I'm starting to have a heart attack right here on James' chest.

His hand comes up and I stop breathing as he threads his fingers through my hair, tugging at the long strands gently. I lift my head and stare at him. I thought his eyes were closed but they are wide open, and are staring at me keenly.

'Hey,' I say softly. 'Your eyes have green in them.'

I stay completely still as, smiling, he pushes himself up onto his elbows. I watch him silently as he pushes some hair behind my ear, and then, quickly, leans his face forward and presses his lips to mine.

I'm so shocked I freeze. Then, once he pulls back, I wake up, and slap him as hard as I can across the face.

He yelps. 'What did you do that for?'

'What did _you_ do that for?' I stagger to my feet, putting my trembling fingers to my lips. They're tingling, and I can feel my cheeks burning as he gets to his feet, watching me.

'What did I do wrong?'

It's a well-known fact that redheads have hellish tempers. And I'm no exception to the rule. When I lose my temper everyone should stand back, because no one is spared when I get angry.

Not even James Potter.

This time, when I lose my temper with him, I push him into the Great Lake.

The few people beside the lake gasp and watch with their mouths wide open, as James comes up spluttering, a muddy reed entwined through his hair. No one has ever pushed the great James Potter anywhere, let alone into a lake. He stares at me and I realise the extremity of what I've just done. I have not just thrown James Potter into a lake; I've thrown a guy who _I am going out with_ into a lake. Sure, I'm _pretending_ to go out with him, but he believes that I like him. And I've just pushed him into a lake that will be frozen in less than two months.

_Shit_.

I run to the water's edge, ignoring the crowd whispering amongst each other. 'Are you all right?'

James wades back out to me. 'I just got chucked into a freezing lake by the girl of my dreams.' He grimaces at me. 'I'm fine.'

'James, I'm so sorry…'

'Really?' And before I can do anything, he's grabbed my waist and pushed me into the water.

I come to the surface coughing my lungs out, shivering. 'James!' I yell, wiping mud and water out of my eyes.

He comes nearer to me, smirking. 'Are you all right?'

I slap his shoulder. 'Oh, sod off.'

He helps me out of the water and I sneeze.

'Truce, okay?'

I turn to him, shaking from cold. The weak sun hasn't done anything to warm me up. 'What?'

'You chucked me in a lake, and I chucked you in a lake. We're even.'

I grimace, rubbing my head, feeling like murdering the people who are watching us closely.

He wipes a spot of mud from my cheek. 'And I promise I won't try to kiss you again.'

I blush. 'James…'

He wraps a hand around my shoulder. 'Let's get you up to the Head bathrooms. We don't want you getting sick again.'

I don't tell him that I'm already sick – my head is spinning and I'm shaking. But not because I'm so cold. It's from the thought of his lips on mine, and the fact that it felt so good.

**Acknowledgements**: Huge tight hugs go out to everyone who reviewed – especially to _embracing_, who was the first to squeal at this chapter, and my girls across the bridge who offer me so much love and support. Thanks to: _Burgirhig_; _shmokey-bear_; _mean-girl123_; _PurpleLight_; _ADRIANNA_; _Perfect Impression_; and lastly _ohsnap its potter_, whose computer is causing her so much trouble! Thank you all so much and please review this chapter! Happy holidays to all of you up in the North, and for all of those still slogging it out like me, hang in there!


	7. On Patrol

**A/N**: I'm so happy that all of you liked my last chapter! Whenever I got a review that said something along the lines of 'this is totally cute' I squealed very loudly and jumped up and down on my seat. So thank you all so much for that. Because it was one of my best chapters, I found this one difficult to write and it was pretty hard to get motivated, but all those reviews encouraged me. This was what I came up with: **On Patrol**. I hope you guys like it, and please click that little blue button, who gets extremely agitated when no one pays him any attention, and tell me what you thought!

_In our last chapter_:

He wipes a spot of mud from my cheek. 'And I promise I won't try to kiss you again.'

'James…'

He wraps a hand around my shoulder. 'Let's get you up to the Head bathrooms. We don't want you getting sick again.'

I don't tell him that I'm already sick – my head is spinning and I'm shaking. But not because I'm so cold. It's from the thought of his lips on mine, and the fact that it felt so good.

**On Patrol**

also known as

**Embarrassing Situations**

James is reading the Daily Prophet when Alice and I come down to breakfast.

'Here's a sight you don't see every day,' I remark, taking a seat next to my 'boyfriend'.

He doesn't even glance up but Sirius laughs out loud.

'What, Prongs here reading the paper? He's not the idiot you thought him to be, Lily – does that mean you're going to have to break up with him?' He nods at me eagerly. 'It would mean I could get some quality time back with my best mate.'

I roll my eyes at his immaturity. 'No, it doesn't mean I'm going to break up with him…James, are you okay?' He still hasn't said a word, his eyes glued to the paper. My words seem to shake him and he looks at me with dark eyes. The group falls silent at his sombre mood. Without a word he hands me the paper.

I look at the title. _A Dozen Dead At Dewberry Docks_.

'Twelve dead?' I exclaim. 'How?' I skim read the article. My breath catches in my throat at the details.

Remus lowers his voice. 'It's You-Know-Who.'

'Voldemort…' I murmur, scanning the article quickly.

Peter looks extremely anxious. 'Shh! Don't say his name!'

James shakes his head, his face pale. 'They were all Muggles. They hadn't done a thing. They were working a late night shift and he just came in and…and killed them.' He gives an involuntary shiver.

I feel myself growing cold. 'Who would do something like this? _Why_ would he do this?'

'Does there need to be a reason?' James shrugs. 'He's an evil man and he'll stop at nothing for total domination.'

'He won't get total domination if he keeps murdering people left right and centre!' Alice exclaims.

'Murder generates fear,' James replies in a low voice. 'And when people are so quiet about which side they're on, whether they follow the Dark Arts and whether they're Death Eaters, following his orders and doing his bidding…'

Sirius has become quiet and grim. I've never, in my seven years of schooling with him, seen his face this humourless. 'It's getting worse. We're lucky…None of us have been affected by it yet. But he's getting stronger. And we need resistance.'

Alice looks scared. 'I didn't know that it was getting so bad.'

'We're safe in here,' Remus murmurs. 'But we're cut off from it all…Outside it's a different story. Like Sirius said, we're just fortunate not to have anyone hurt from our families.'

James looks up sharply. 'But it wouldn't. The only person here who should be worried is Lily.' His eyes slide over to me and I can see the fear and despair in their depths.

He's making me nervous.

'How does that work?' I breathe.

'Every single one of our families are pure-blood,' he replies intently. 'My parents come from ancient wizarding generations. Sirius' family – although he'd never admit it – are notorious for dealing in the Dark Arts. Peter's family have been haggling with Dark objects for centuries. And Remus' parents are quiet, respectable people with very pure blood, not likely to stir up trouble. I know that Alice's parents are both purebloods. But you, Lily…' His eyes break away from mine and I'm left reeling.

'I'm a Mudblood,' I say quietly.

There's a loud intake of breath and although I let my hair fall across my face, sliding my appearance into obscurity, I know everyone on the table is watching me.

James' hand creeps over mine. 'You're not,' he says. 'You're just in danger.'

Sirius gives a short, dry laugh. 'And this time I don't think that the Apes are going to be enough to protect you.'

III

I try not to dwell on the information from this morning. I've known Muggle-born wizards are looked down upon by a large portion of the wizarding world, but the fact that Voldemort seems to be aiming to be rid of all them – and all people opposing his rule – well, the extremity of that reality has only just hit me.

'We've got patrolling tonight, James,' I tell him as we sit having dinner.

He seems almost back to normal after this morning's revelation, although he still seems slightly anxious and quiet.

He smiles. 'Who do you think I am? Like I'd forget something as important as walking around in a dark castle after hours with my girlfriend!'

'We do actually have to _patrol_, James. Meaning we do have to look in cupboards, classrooms, etc for people doing the wrong thing…'

'Yeah, yeah, I understand. No fooling about. Even though my girlfriend, who I incidentally happen to be _patrolling_ with, is the most beautiful, gorgeous girl I have ever seen…'

I raise my eyebrows at him.

He rolls his eyes. 'Right. Too public?'

'Kind of.'

'What can a man do?' he exclaims to Sirius, getting up from the table and throwing his hands in the air in frustration. Sirius hides a smile and pats James' back sympathetically.

'Come on, mate,' he says. 'Time for some serious – ha ha! – Sirius and Jamsie time.'

Alice and I watch them walk down the house tables in companionable amusement, and once they've left the hall I push a potato around my plate. 'Imagine what I would be doing if I weren't involved with James right now.'

'You'd be eating dinner and then going on patrol with James anyway. The only difference would be that you'd be patrolling separately.' Alice taps her chin. 'Then again, if he had any say in it you'd be patrolling together, with him desperately trying to get you to elope with him.'

I sigh. 'Okay, you're right. But if I _didn't_ have patrol tonight, I could be doing numerous things!'

Alice laughs. 'Like Potions homework, or Charms homework, or even Transfiguration homework! Yeah, so many options.'

I groan. 'Thanks for that, Al. No, I was actually thinking that I could be spending the night with you.'

She blushes. 'I'm busy tonight.'

'What?'

'I'm busy. Hypothetically you wouldn't be able to spend the night with me even if you weren't patrolling.'

'What are you doing?'

She wags a finger at me. 'Stop being so nosy. It's none of your business.'

'Everything concerning you is my business. Come on, Alice!' I put on my best sad-puppy-dog face, but she just laughs at me.

'Have you been practising that look with James? Because you both have it down pat, I swear.'

I glare at her and she grins.

'Obviously not.'

I shake my head at her and my gaze lands on the emptying Slytherin table. Snape is looking straight at me with narrowed eyes. When he sees that I am watching him, he quickly scrambles up from his seat and rushes out of the big wooden doors at the end of the hall. I duck my head, wondering at how he can be so horrible even when I attempt to be nice to him.

'I don't get it,' Alice tells me, who has seen Snape's escape. 'I think he must be mentally disturbed.' At my look she hastens to explain. 'I mean, he's attempted to save your life and he's still sullen and nasty to you. Even all you've ever been is kind to him…Merlin knows why.'

My eyes are still locked on his retreating figure. 'I can't figure it out.'

Alice looks back at her black pudding. 'Well, sod it. He's weird and we should do well to just ignore him. I guess just because he threw that bezeor down your throat doesn't mean he'll immediately stop being a prat.'

'Oh, come on, Alice.'

She throws down her spoon. 'No more talk of this!' she exclaims. 'Not only am I completely sick of you standing up for Snape, you have to go and find Potter. It's almost nine thirty.'

'Merlin help me.'

She just laughs at me. 'Be brave!' she says, thumping her chest. 'You can do it! You have the strength!'

'I like your optimism,' I tell her, before pushing away my plate and leaving the table.

When I reach the portrait hole James is standing directly outside, waiting for me.

'You're already here!' I say, amazed.

'No need to sound so surprised,' the Fat Lady says unkindly. She harbours a massive crush on James Potter. I think she must have a thing for Quidditch players. And sure, I get the physical attraction…He's tall, dark and handsome. Not only that, his chest is as hard as a board and I personally can't get the feeling of him beneath me last weekend out of my head.

_Merlin, you are mental_.

'Let's go,' he says, and we set off down the corridor, me vainly attempting to rid myself of all thoughts regarding Potter's chest. There are still some lingering thoughts swimming around up there, so I decide to quickly change the subject.

'Prepare yourself for two hours of boredom and embarrassment as we walk up and down corridors looking for perpetrators,' I announce to him, throwing my hands open for grand effect.

He chuckles at me. 'I have been on patrol before, Lils.' He raises his eyebrows at me and lowers his voice. 'And by the way, you do happen to be with a Marauder here. I am sure I can make this time wonderfully entertaining.'

'I hope you're up to the challenge.'

He nods his head, smirking. 'Oh yes, I am. We're going to play Truth.'

'Truth?'

'You've never heard of Truth? Oh, my little Muggle-born innocent.' His eyes are sparkling. 'It's exactly what it sounds like. We have to ask each other questions and the other person has to tell the truth to those questions. Okay?'

'I'm pretty sure I played this when I was seven.'

'Will you play or not?'

I shrug. I mean, what else is there to do? 'Okay.'

'What's your full name?'

'Do I really have to tell you that?' I groan.

'You agreed to the rules!'

I let my hair fall forward so he can't see me blush. 'Lily Grace Foster Evans.'

James stops walking and I halt too, glancing up at him.

'That's a beautiful name,' he says seriously.

'What's yours?' I ask.

'James Potter.'

'You're joking.'

He shakes his head. 'My parents wanted it short and simple.'

'Just two names? When I had to get four?'

'Life's tough.' He smiles. 'I've always wondered…You are named after the flower, aren't you?'

I sigh. 'Yeah. Every girl in my family is named after a flower. My sister's Petunia, and my mum's Iris. My grandmother's name is Rose. The tradition goes back a really long way. Before my great-great-grandparents.'

'Wow. So do you think when you have kids you'll name them after flowers too?'

'It's my turn to ask a question. You just had two in a row.' I skim my brain for something. 'What's your favourite colour?'

'Red. And yours?'

'Green.'

He nods. 'I thought so. Now, will you answer my question? Are you going to name your kids after flowers?'

I shrug. 'There aren't really many more to choose from. Trust me, there have been so many names. My grandmother's one of five girls.' I head towards a cupboard on the left and charm it open. There isn't anything in there. 'And anyway, it's kind of a silly tradition.'

'So you wouldn't like a daughter named Gerbera?'

I giggle. 'Definitely not.'

'Okay,' he says, once we've established there's no one on this floor. 'It's your turn.'

'Ah…What's your favourite animal?'

He gives a sly smile. 'A stag.'

It's so abstract I turn my face to his. 'Really?'

'Yeah. What's yours?'

I shake my head. 'You're not going to believe me.'

'Why not? We are telling each other the truth here.'

I roll my eyes at him. 'It's a stag.'

He laughs and grabs my hand tightly, swinging it between us. 'I think that means that we're meant for each other.'

'How does that work, Einstein?'

He looks puzzled. 'What?'

I don't even want to attempt at explaining Einstein's theories to a wizard, and so I ask again, 'How did you work that out?'

He squeezes my hand. 'I'll explain in due time. Er…Which do you prefer? Summer or winter?'

'I thought this was meant to be entertaining.'

'This is entertaining. And trust me, they will get more difficult as the night proceeds, Lily my love. Now, summer or winter?'

'Neither. I like spring. The weather's perfect and…it's my birthday in spring.'

'May the third,' he says, smiling at me. I try not to remember what happened on my last birthday, where, in front of everyone in the common room, he gave me a long silver chain with a love heart charm attached, along with a kiss on the forehead. But I _do_ like to remember the imprint of my hand on his cheek that he wore proudly for the next three days…

'I like winter. Christmas and snow and…' He grins at me and pulls me closer, 'Snow angels.'

I can't help smiling at him. He sure does know how to tug a girl's heartstrings. 'Um…What was the best moment of your life?'

'Apart from now?' He laughs. 'The other day, when you kissed me.'

I pull away from him and place my hands on my hips. 'I did not kiss you, James Potter. _You_ forced yourself on me. And I doubt that it was the best moment of your life, because a second later you were floundering in the Great Lake.'

'You asked for the best moment. That's my best moment.'

I keep staring at him. I want to ask him why it's always been me, why he's been so obsessed with me, why he honestly thinks we have a future together. Because I have no idea how someone can like me so much.

'What's your best moment?'

I start to open classroom doors, making sure that there's no one around. There isn't. On other days I would've been grateful, but today I wish there were students that we could yell at and send away. Because I'm starting to sense that James wants to talk about some important stuff that I don't want to share.

'I honestly don't know.'

'Please. Humour me. Everyone has a best moment.'

'It's not good to label things like that. If you define a moment as being the best ever then you start to compare and comparing, I've learnt, causes trouble.'

'Come on, you were the first to ask the question.'

'And because I asked a question I personally don't want to answer you get stroppy at me?'

He charms open a cupboard. 'Okay, Evans. Calm down.' He turns to me slyly. 'But when you do have your best moment, be sure to tell me.' He smiles. 'I'd like to know what it is.'

'Whatever you say, James. Okay, this question is a matter of life and death. If you had to choose between chocolate cake or a chocolate brownie, which would you have?'

He looks scared. 'What if I say the wrong thing?'

I grin. 'You'll be cursed for all eternity.'

'Um…Probably the chocolate brownie.'

He looks so anxious I can't help but laugh at him. 'I'm sorry, but you've obviously never had my famous One-Pan Chocolate Cakes.'

'Obviously.' He smiles. 'Promise you'll make it for me one day.'

Without thinking about the consequences, I smile. 'I promise.'

'Good. It's a date.' He lets go of my hand and taps his chin thoughtfully, watching me. He's not looking where he's going and slams straight into a knight, who realigns himself and then yells abuse as James and I run away laughing.

'Nice one, James,' I manage to say, doubled over from laughing so hard.

'Why thank you, Miss Evans.' He waves at the cupboard we're standing in front of and gives a small bow. 'Would you like to do the honours?'

'With pleasure,' I say, pointing my wand at the cupboard. It gives a small rattle and James grins.

'I think we just found where everyone is,' he says.

I flick my wand and the door unlatches, swinging open to reveal two people locked in very tight embrace.

I can feel my eyes falling out of my head. 'Alice?' I shriek.

My friend pulls away from the tall guy and turns so red I can almost feel the heat radiating off her.

'Lily!' she squeaks, jumping out of the cupboard down to our level. 'I didn't know curfew was over…'

I can't help but burst out laughing. 'What are you doing, Alice? In a cupboard?'

She looks relieved. 'Ah…Well…'

I shake my head. 'Save it.'

She squirms uncomfortably. 'I did want to tell you, Lily, but…I kind of wanted to figure out where it was headed before…'

'It looks like it's headed in a very positive direction,' James remarks. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.

Alice reaches behind her and the boy she was with steps down to stand next to her. He's got caramel-coloured hair and deep-set grey eyes. 'This is Frank. Frank Longbottom.'

I smile at him, and try to ignore the awkward circumstances. 'Hi. You're in Hufflepuff, right?'

He nods. 'Yeah.'

'And you were a prefect last year, too.'

I think he understands I'm trying to ignore how uncomfortable we all are, but he looks like he wants to be swallowed up into the ground in any case. 'I was. Look, I'm going to, er, go.'

Alice gives an embarrassed smile. 'I'll come too. Um, I'll see you in the dormitory, Lily, okay?'

I nod, and watch as they scoot down the corridor.

James laughs. 'Well, that was an experience.'

He grabs my hand and as we set back off up the corridor, I turn to him. 'Thanks, James.'

He looks surprised. 'For what?'

'For tonight. I had a good time.' I giggle. 'It was _wonderfully_ entertaining.'

He smiles and as he pulls me closer to him, I feel a shiver run up my spine.

**Acknowledgements**: Thank you so much to the reviewers of **Lake Water In October Can Be Cold**: _burgirhig_; _popkornchicken_;_ PurpleLight_;_ mean-girl123_;_ cosmopolitan_;_ shmokey-bear_;_ Leigh A. Sumpter_, and, of course, the one and only _embracing_, who loves me even when I'm being horrible. A big hug and many kisses to all of you!


	8. Foolish Anxiety

**A/N**: Hello all! Thank you all for your encouraging reviews. This is the last chapter you'll get for a while, because I'm off to New Caledonia for a school French excursion on Wednesday, and then it's the school holidays…I'll be writing as much as I can during the break, so that I can update soon and cure you all of your Lily/James fetish. I hope it's good enough to keep you going until I come back. In this chapter I created a little Quidditch action. I'm not sure how good it is – I think it's probably a lot different watching from the stands rather than actually being on the pitch playing, so I hope it's okay. For the purposes of this chapter I've made Sirius Quidditch captain. Although there have been many other stories with the famous Potter boy as captain, I personally think that it's unfair for James to get the glory all the time. And so Mr Black gets the honour for my story. Also, for all you Americans out there, the rubber that I refer to in this is a school eraser, not anything dirty. But anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and I'll be back soon!

_In our last chapter_:

He grabs my hand and as we set back off up the corridor, I turn to him. 'Thanks, James.'

He looks surprised. 'For what?'

'For tonight. I had a good time.' I giggle. 'It was _wonderfully_ entertaining.'

He smiles and as he pulls me closer to him, I feel a shiver run up my spine.

**Foolish Anxiety**

also known as

**Hold Me Tight**

'Maybe James isn't so bad after all,' I whisper to Alice in the common room on Friday night, curled up in front of the fire after giving up on my Arithmancy homework for the night.

She just giggles at me. 'What, all those love songs starting to wear you down?'

I cup my hands tighter around my hot chocolate mug, shaking my head. 'It's bizarre. He's stopped singing. He hasn't quoted any wizarding poetry for an entire week. He's not acting like the usual bumbling prat he really is.' I shrug, looking over where Sirius, James, Remus and Peter are entertaining numerous portions of the classroom by transfiguring their pencil case contents into different animals. 'I don't know. It's hard to explain – like now if he does do something idiotic I won't really care. And if he does do something stupid he looks at me, to see whether I approve…'

'That means you've got him exactly where we want him.'

'Which is where, exactly?'

'He obviously likes you enough to want you to approve of his behaviour. Once he stops doing immature things we'll know he's completely yours.'

I watch as James turns a rubber into a mouse and has it run into Sirius' mane of thick black hair. There's a group of adoring girls sitting very close and they squeal loudly, causing the rest of the common room to burst out laughing.

'I don't think that his crazy side is ever going to change.' I keep watching him, and I hardly notice when I half-murmur, 'And besides, I don't think I want that absurdity to go, either.'

Alice stares at me incredulously. 'This is a change of tune.'

I set down my mug. 'I know. It's completely against the Lily Evans way of doing things. But I guess, what with all the murders and disappearances, we need something like his humour to get us through. We can't be miserable old sods all the time, can we?'

'My point exactly, Lils,' James says, plonking himself down next to me on the carpet. Smiling evilly, he waves his wand and my hot chocolate zooms into his hand.

'Hey!' I exclaim, as he finishes it in one gulp. 'That was mine!'

'You were almost finished.'

'Was not. Now I have no hot chocolate left.' I cross my arms and glare at him.

'Merlin, that look breaks a guy's heart,' he says, reaching over and smoothing the frown lines across my forehead with gentle fingers. 'What can I do to make it better?'

'You have to apologise.'

He grins. 'I can do better than that, dear.' He waves his wand at my cup and immediately it refills with delicious steaming brown liquid. 'Ta-da!'

Alice raises her eyebrows at him cynically. 'Do you want us to clap?'

'That would be nice, but it's not necessary.' He looks at me, his eyes locked to mine. 'Look, I am sorry, Lils.'

It's crazy, when he says that so seriously to me I feel like jumping him and having his strong chest beneath me again. And I guess his lips on mine wouldn't be too bad either…

_I am going insane_.

'So,' I say quickly, wanting to change the subject, 'are you ready for tomorrow's match?'

'More than ready. Those Ravenclaws won't know what's hit them.'

'At least it will be a better game than the last. It's hard to play a good game of Quidditch when the Hufflepuffs let their egos get in the way,' Alice says viciously.

'I thought you would have changed your tune since you started going out with Frank Longbottom,' James remarks.

Alice glares at him. 'A man never gets between a girl and her Quidditch game, Potter.' She shrugs. 'Besides, he can handle it.'

James laughs appreciatively. 'Good for him. But I wouldn't worry about us admitting defeat too easily to Ravenclaw. Our Chasers are brilliant. And Albert Tawney's no match for our Greta.'

'But those Rodney twins…' Alice warns.

'Oh, Bilius Weasley and Nathaniel Quinn are pretty good. Sirius has been making us work hard, Alice, don't worry.'

'Be careful,' I blurt out. Immediately I regret my words, and it's all I can do to stop myself from clapping my hands over my mouth to prevent any other soppy language from coming bursting forth. Alice looks at me with a face torn between amusement and shock. Merlin, what's with me today?

But James look pleased. He grabs my hand. 'I will, I promise.'

III

However, the next day during the match I think he's forgotten his promise. Or maybe I just never really noticed how fast he flew before, or how scary the Bludgers whizzing past people's heads are, or how good James looks in his Gryffindor Quidditch robes…

I really need to get a potion for this illness.

I squeal as one of the Ravenclaw Chasers throws the Quaffle right at Sirius, who's guarding the goals. He grabs it by his fingertips and passes it straight back on to James, who weaves in and out of his opposition, to the other side of the field to score through the top hoop.

Remus, who is reading his book next to me, laughs. 'I've never seen you this interested in a Quidditch match before, Lily.'

I can't take my eyes off the game. 'No, neither have I.'

He follows my gaze, watching as I trail James with my eyes.

'Then again, having someone you love on the field does change your views,' he says slyly.

'I do _not_ love him!' I snap, turning around and glaring at him.

He chuckles. 'You are going out with him, Lily, and you do happen to be watching him pretty intently…'

I just huff and turn back to the game, in time to see the taller Rodney twin smash a Bludger straight at James. I can't help myself – _it's just instinct, nothing else_ – letting out a small scream as James sees the bludger too late. It crashes into his arm.

There's a sickening crunch that echoes around the field and a collective gasp goes through the crowd.

'Holy…' Remus breathes next to me, his eyes off his book now as James lurches forward and drops a few inches in the air. His teammates pass the Quaffle back and forward to each other, getting it up the other end of the field while Sirius zooms to James to see if he's okay.

My neck feels like it's going to snap I'm craning it so hard to see what's going on, but as the action comes whizzing back down to Sirius' end James, cradling his left arm, intercepts the Quaffle from the opposing team and chucks it so hard down the field it's through the hoop before the Ravenclaw Keeper knows what's happened.

And then, suddenly, there's a yell as the two Seekers fly head to head, trying to get the golden Snitch. I can't see a thing – Alice says I don't have the 'Quidditch eye' – but I do see Greta pull out of the chase with her right arm raised in exuberant exhilaration, the tiny Snitch flapping its wings relentlessly, while the entire stadium goes up in pandemonium.

Alice is hugging Frank next to her as I race down the stairs to the field, running across the pitch to James, who's wincing as he lands on the ground.

I throw my arms around his neck, burying my head in his chest. I haven't realised how emotional this entire game has made me. 'You could've died!' I cry.

He chuckles. 'It's just a broken arm, Lily.'

I pull away and look down at it, wanting to look away almost immediately. 'Just a broken arm?' I exclaim, feeling ill. The bone is practically poking out of the skin.

James just shrugs. 'I've had worse.'

And then, in a flap with her red hair flying about, Molly rushes over.

'You are one amazing flier, James Potter,' she tells him, as she grabs his arm and points her wand at it. 'But you have to learn to duck, okay?'

James flexes his newly repaired arm and laughs. 'Sure, Molly. I'll get Sirius to make sure that's next practice's focus.'

She just grimaces at him and moves on the Greta, who's got a nosebleed.

James smiles. 'Now that I've got my arm back can I have a hug that I can actually reciprocate?'

A part of me wants to push him away as his arms close around me, but another part of me wants him to hold me tight for all eternity.

III

Remus has created a poster of a lion that actually roars for the celebration after the game. He hasn't adjusted the sound on it and so every so often it lets out an ear-piercing bellow that makes everyone drop their cups. The floor's strewn with lolly wrappers and couples entangled together, slurring their words. I know that the house elves are going to be busy tonight cleaning up the mess.

I'm curled up next to James on the couch, his arm draped around me, as Sirius begins to lead the entire room in a chant of our own Gryffindor song that he seems to be making up on the spot. Out of the corner of my eye I see Professor McGonagall clambering through the portrait hole. The noise dies down as more people become aware of her presence.

'And we'll kill 'em all next time round!' Sirius yells, before turning around to come face to face with Professor McGonagall. Some people laugh but others have noticed her grim expression and have become silent. I clamber up off James and stand watching as she glances around the room. James follows, slipping his hand in mine.

'I'm sorry to interrupt your celebrations,' she says quietly, 'but I need to see Marie Higgins immediately.'

Marie, the girl who is constantly singing in my dorm, comes forward through the throng, her face turning white as she sees McGonagall's grave appearance. McGonagall leads her out of the common room silently; her hand gently balanced on Marie's shoulder.

'What do you think's happened?' Alice whispers.

I shake my head. 'I don't know…'

The entire common room is still as, after a few seconds, the portrait swings forward again. Marie walks through unsteadily, looking ill and absolutely terrified.

Her best friend Polly runs to her. 'What's happened, Marie?' When her friend doesn't answer she gets hysterical. 'Marie? Marie! What's happened? Marie!'

Marie turns to her, her eyes unfocused, as if seeing her for the first time. 'My parents,' she says in a strangled voice. 'They're…they're dead.'

And while James' arm comes around to pull me closer to him, I watch, shaking uncontrollably, as Marie heaves and vomits all over the common room carpet.

**Acknowledgements**: I got so many new reviewers for the last chapter! I love you all so much! (Or, if I was June Carter, 'y'all are so great!') I'd like to shout out to: _Burgirhig_; _Leigh A. Sumpter_; _shmokey-bear_; _Lily Witchcraft_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_; _Katie_;

_ohsnap its potter_; _Adrianna_; _mean-girl123_; _popkornchicken_ and _A_. (Small note to _A_, who complained of my overuse of 'Merlin' – it's my substitute for 'God', which I didn't think would be relevant in the wizarding world. I tend to extremely over-dramatic around my friends, and say 'Oh my God', or even 'Oh my Lordie' (quite popular at the moment) a lot (they probably find it annoying too!), and that just came out in my story. But I'll try not to use it so often for you!) As always, a huge hug to _embracing_, who puts up with me through the worst of times and still squeals every time I update. I hope everyone liked this chapter, even though I did leave it on kind of a tragic note. I'll update as fast as I can…


	9. Dangerous Affairs Pt I

**A/N**: I know, I know, it's been forever since I updated. But I do have an excuse – I went to New Caledonia for a week (so beautiful but severely lacking in a good variety of fruit, read between the lines here to understand that it was pretty much non-existent), and when I came back home I visited my grandparents for a week, which was brilliant apart for the tiny detail that they don't have Internet access. And so I couldn't put anything on here and cure you all of your misery from me ending the last chapter with such a cliffhanger. Sorry about that, dudies, but it was necessary.

Just a short note to _Burgirhig_, I can't remember whether James was Head Boy or not, there have been so many stories on here saying he is that I kind of just took it for granted, but I do know for a fact that he wasn't a Seeker, he was definitely a Chaser. J.K. Rowling mentioned it in an interview I read once. Maybe someone can enlighten me about James being Head Boy or not, though. Even if he wasn't thought, he is for the purposes of my story! (Please don't sue anyone…)

Anyhoo, this chapter is dedicated to Millie and Alex, who gave me the idea for the juice incident in this chapter. Also a big shout out to _ohsnap its potter_ (where have you gone, my wonderful Lilly?), for making me decide on having a Harmony Ball. And last but not least, all those wonderful people that reviewed for my last chapter – I got a world record of 13 reviews! So now I have 78 in total, a fact which is completely blowing my mind…Thank you muchly!

_In our last chapter_:

'Be careful,' I blurt out. What is with me today? First wanting to kiss him, now this – _I am going insane_…

…James smiles. 'Now that I've got my arm back can I have a hug that I can actually reciprocate?'

A part of me wants to push him away as his arms close around me, but another part of me wants him to hold me tight for all eternity…

…Marie turns, her eyes unfocused. 'My parents,' she says in a strangled voice. 'They're…they're dead.'

And while James' arm comes around pull me closer to him, I watch, shaking uncontrollably, as Marie heaves and vomits all over the common room carpet.

**Dangerous Affairs (Pt I)**

also known as

**Juice Is Smearing My Glasses**

The incident with Marie was supposed to be kept quiet, and so naturally by the next morning the entire school knew that her parents were dead – murdered by one of Voldemort's minions. Ever since everything's been slightly more subdued. People have this crazy idea that they alone will never be conquered by mortality, but when something like this happens, and to someone so well known and loved like Marie, the hard truth hits. Death is inevitable. I think that it's this idea that has caused even James and Sirius to become more restrained in their pranks. Every now and again they charm Amos Diggory's hair to stick up straight, or to twist in loose black curls around his face. And the other day all four Marauders persuaded an egotistical third year to make the Gryffindor common room fire warmer by using an immature enlarging charm, causing a large scorch mark to appear across the ceiling and a dozen unfortunate students' eyebrows to be scorched…But apart from that they've been pretty tame.

But I have a feeling someone is going to pay for letting them roll out of bed on the wrong side this morning. They've got huge dark circles underneath their eyes, undeniably from trying to finish off their Transfiguration homework McGonagall gave us two weeks ago that they put off until last night, the day before it was due.

'You look like a zombie,' I tell James as he slumps down at the table.

'Thanks,' he mutters.

'Pumpkin juice?' I ask him, not bothering to wait for his reply and pouring it into his goblet.

I turn to Sirius, jug raised in anticipation. 'And you?'

He shakes his head, rubbing his stomach. 'I don't feel so good.'

'You don't look it either,' Peter says. It echoes my rather untactful greeting to James, however Peter adds an awkward pat on Sirius' shoulder that I guess would've caused James to perk up if I had bothered to touch him…

The two tired boys share a comfortable sigh together, and turn back to their breakfast. Alice and I exchange gleeful looks – it's not every Tuesday morning you feel quicker than these particular Marauders. I glance back at James to see him take a small sip of juice, only to spit it out immediately, soaking half a dozen croissants lying across from him.

'James!'

'What did you put in this?' he demands.

'Nothing.'

'It tastes horrible.'

I take his goblet and take a gulp. He looks at me expectantly, and I shrug, going back to my breakfast. 'Tastes exactly the same to me.'

'Well, it's not.'

I look up at him from over my cereal, starting to get bothered. 'Don't get annoyed at me – go and yell at the house elves. You're always talking about how you can charm your way into the kitchen – go and get them to create a new version of pumpkin juice.'

He just glares at me as Remus stifles a chuckle. James lowers his gaze and stares moodily at the plates of bacon, waffles, toast and eggs before him. I raise my eyebrows at Alice to silently grumble to her about his terrible mood. Once James _and_ Sirius have started to complain about how every dish on the table doesn't taste right, though, I don't care if they know how fed up they're making me.

'James, it's not my fault that you put off that homework till last night…'

He groans. 'Lily…'

I shake my head firmly. 'Don't _Lily_ me. It's not our fault that you're tired, and don't make us pay for your grumpiness.' I turn to Sirius. 'You either.'

'Well, if you had lent me your homework to…er, study, from…'

My mouth drops open. 'James Potter, you know how I feel about plagiarism.'

'It's not plagiarism, Lily…'

'It's taking all my hard work and passing it off as yours, Black, and I like to call that plagiarism, as well as several other things besides. Now, can the two of you stop being such grumps and just enjoy the day?'

James looks up at the ceiling. There's a flash of lightning across it and he looks at me as if that's my fault too.

Sirius notices too, and he nudges James in the ribs. 'Don't see what's so great about it,' he mutters, to which James gives a fervent nod in agreement.

I've had enough. And before I realise what I'm doing, the goblet of pumpkin juice that James has rejected has floated up above his head and is dangerously tipping forward slowly.

Across from me, James sighs and rubs his head. 'Look, Lily,' he says seriously, leaning across the table and grabbing one of my hands. The floating goblet he still hasn't noticed yet is following his every move. 'I know I'm being a prat today. Don't take it too seriously, okay?'

'Not too seriously. Er…' I let out a little squeal and break away from him as the goblet wobbles and every single drop of the pumpkin juice spills over and falls on James' head.

He erupts, yelling as his face is drenched with sticky liquid. I cover my mouth with my hands, torn between amusement at how funny he looks with orange stuff dripping from his hair and onto his robes, and anxiety at what he might do when he finds out it was me that let the goblet spill over. The entire table is in uproar, and I can hear Hagrid's big booming laugh from the teacher's table up the front of the hall.

'James!' I manage to gasp.

He turns to me, his glasses smeary. 'Yes, _Evans_?'

_Uh-oh_. His reverting to my old nickname, and in that dangerous tone, cannot be good. It might mean that the plan has failed – I haven't heard him speak like this since our last fight, when I agreed to the plan in the first place…I need this plan to work – I can't have him prank me once more, I would never be able to stand it. And if I've just blown it all by chucking pumpkin juice over him then, well…

'Did you do this?' he demands angrily. I know that half the hall is watching us and I can feel myself turning red.

'Ah, yeah…'

He yells in frustration. 'Lily!'

'I lost control,' I say quickly. 'You're overreacting to this, James, you're tired and cross and…'

'Damn right I'm cross!' he yells. 'My girlfriend has just upended a goblet of pumpkin juice over my head!'

I can't help it. 'You kind of deserved it, James, the way you were going on.'

He just stands gaping at me, juice dripping on the floor and making a puddle around his feet.

I wave my wand and immediately he's clean, without a trace of pumpkin juice anywhere near him. Peter laughs and Remus chuckles. 'Oh, what did you do that for? You know the girls like him dirty!'

James just glares at both Remus and I.

I scramble over the table, knowing that if I don't placate James now the entire plan will be gone down the drain. I take his arm and lead him down the aisle and out the big oak doors.

'I'm sorry, James, I really am.'

He frowns. 'You don't look sorry.'

I grin. 'What can I say? James Potter dripping with pumpkin juice is kind of cute. Now that you're all clean the attraction has kind of disappeared.' As I'm telling him this little fib I realise that I'm not lying. I _did_ think that he was adorable standing there, all cross with me, drenched in juice. I shake myself mentally for thinking such a thing.

A smile slowly spreads across his face. 'Really?'

'Maybe you should soak yourself in juice more often.'

He laughs. 'Maybe.'

I give him a small kiss on the cheek and he goes pink. 'Will you forgive me?'

He takes my hand. 'Of course.'

'Good. Now come and have some breakfast.'

III

'Come in!'

James and I exchange suspicious glances and enter Dumbledore's office. He's standing by the window, watching the sun set between the craggy mountains, and doesn't move when we come into his office.

'The view of the sun setting on a crisp November night is not one to be missed,' he remarks, turning to face the two of us. 'I'm glad that you could both make it tonight. I trust you got my message?'

As James and I had gone back to breakfast this morning – after the disastrous pumpkin juice incident – a first year had come up to us with two messages from our Headmaster, requesting us to meet him in his office that afternoon at five thirty.

Dumbledore smiles reassuringly at us and motions us to sit down in two plump red velvet armchairs that he's conjured, seating himself behind his desk, clasping his long fingers together.

'You may wonder why I have brought you here today,' he begins, looking at each of us seriously. 'I gather that you have heard about the man that calls himself Lord Voldemort?'

James and I don't need to look at each other. We nod tightly.

'His name has been gracing newspapers and even Muggle television news reports.'

'On TV?' I exclaim. _My parents are going to be out of their mind with worry_.

Dumbledore smiles grimly at me. 'You have no need to be afraid, Miss Evans. The Prime Minister has been keeping it quiet. I believe he is blaming it on the rising crime in England at the minute. Voldemort's identity has been kept a secret from the Muggle community, for many reasons. It has also been relatively kept under the wraps in the wizarding world. However, I do not wish to keep the truth from you both. You have a right to know what you will be facing once you leave school next year. At the present moment Voldemort is gaining power rapidly and has killed many. Marie Higgins' parents were two such unfortunate murders. They were killed presumably because they were both Muggle-born wizards opposed to the Dark Arts. However, Marie isn't the only one to have had relatives taken from her. Voldemort is ruthless and will stop at nothing to gain power.'

'Is the school in danger?'

'While you are within these walls I can protect you, but outside I am powerless against defending my students. These are dangerous times, Miss Evans. No one is safe anymore. Everyone needs to take care, especially when opposing Voldemort. We have to decide now between what is right, and what is easy.'

Dumbledore leans back. 'I know that this is quite distressing news, for everyone in the wizarding and non-wizarding world. However, I believe that succumbing to the terror that Voldemort plans to afflict on modern society is to play directly into his hands. We need to gather forces and strengthen our minds, so that when something dreadful does happen, we can fight against it.'

James fumbles for my hand and squeezes it firmly. 'What do you want us to do?'

Dumbledore smiles. 'I knew I could rely on the two of you. I would like to host a ball this Christmas – which comes upon us in just a month, as you are probably aware.' I smile with embarrassment – I had completely forgotten. 'I have decided to name it the Harmony Ball. This Ball will present the students of Hogwarts with some fun, and will stress the importance of trust, love and overall happiness.' He beams jovially at us. 'How does that sound?'

I smile at him, turning my head to look at James. 'I think it's going to be a great Christmas this year.'

**Acknowledgements**: Okay, so maybe that was a bit superficial of Dumbledore but they need a bit of fun in their lives. So, now that that's over, onto the Academy Award record of thankyous…

Here goes: _popkornchicken_; _shmokey-bear_; _Burgirhig_; _xHeavilyxBrokenx_; _Leigh A. Sumpter_; _mean-girl123_; _Sapphre818_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_ (I happen to agree with you totally on the holding out on James thing – he's mine! All mine! – but Lily is one stubborn Gryffindor…); _embracing_ (gotta love you Bubs); _PurpleLight_;_ Adrianna_; _ohsnap its potter_ and _Lily Witchcraft_. Thank you all so much, please keep reviewing because I LOVE IT! All you little people that didn't, don't you want your name on this ever-growing list of beautiful people that make me feel better about my little fluffy stories? Hmm. I can see why not. But still. Review! (Please.)


	10. Dangerous Affairs Pt II

**A/N**: I am exhausted after my first week back at school, but I managed a little bit of James and Lily lovin' in there for all you beautiful people. It's one of my longest chapters ever, but I'm not really sure whether I'm pleased with it. I tried to resolve the tension between Lily and Snape that I know has been absent for a while now. The idea was that I just couldn't end the story without giving you some reason for why Snape's such a weirdo around our Little Miss Evans, but I think I only succeeded in adding even more unresolved stuff.

Just a tiny thing before I get on with the story – I got a record amount of reviews: 18 (although I don't really want to count that Mr Pickles one, Adelaide and Alex)! Thanks to you all, and I know that many of you are frustrated with the lack of kissing between James and Lily. I'm sorry! I did write a fluffy little one shot as a result of all that, called **Damn That Mistletoe!** (if that doesn't give you a clue about what's in it I don't know what will!) and so if you're wanting a bit of James/Lily action there's plenty there. Unfortunately, there isn't a kiss in this chapter either – please don't run at me with pitchforks screaming bloody murder! Don't let it put you off, because the next chapter is Christmas, and I promise there is something for you all to squeal at in there. And look at that, I've finally finished my rant, and now for something I've never done in this story before. It's a disclaimer!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter. And unfortunately I don't own James either. What I do own, however, are the Jackson Twins and their song _You're Meant For Me_. Any similarity to the band The White Stripes is purely coincidental.

_In our last chapter_:

'The Harmony Ball will present the students of Hogwarts with some fun, and will stress the importance of trust, love and overall happiness.' He beams jovially at us. 'How does that sound?'

I smile at him, turning my head to look at James. 'I think it's going to be a great Christmas this year.'

**Dangerous Affairs (Pt II)**

also known as

**Who Knew Siblings Could Marry In This Day and Age? **

Dumbledore puts James and I in charge of the Harmony Ball. He says it will be the perfect match: James being the guy that he is, always interested in having a good time, and me so involved with the management of things. Dumbledore tell us he wants it held on Christmas Eve, with a large feast and dancing, but leaves the rest up to us.

I'm surprised at how involved James is – usually it's a struggle to get him to come to any Prefect meeting, which the Heads have to chair with Professor McGonagall. But he's usually the first one to the Harmony Ball meetings every single time, and the one that throws the most ideas out. He's responsible for convincing Dumbledore to hire the Jackson Twins as the band for the night, which everyone meets with great approval.

'It'll cause everyone to stay at school this Christmas!' Noëlle says.

'So, why will the Jackson Twins cause everyone to stay at school this Christmas?' I ask James as we do a quick patrol around the corridors after our most recent meeting.

'Well, they're only the biggest wizarding band in Britain,' he tells me absently, charming a cupboard open. 'Oi, you two, stop eating each others' faces and go back to your dormitories. Curfew's up.'

'Yes _Dad_,' the sixth year Hufflepuff mutters, and before James can reply he and his girlfriend are hurrying down the hall, still holding each other's hands tightly.

'Why are they the biggest wizarding band in Britain?' I ask, as James strides confidently past me to the next cupboard, which is empty.

'Don't you follow wizarding bands?' he asks, now opening the Transfiguration classroom door.

I shake my head. 'My sister would kill me if I brought anything _foreign_ into the house.'

He closes the door. 'Your sister isn't a witch, obviously.'

'No.' I can't keep the bitter note out of my voice.

He looks at me curiously. 'She hates the fact that you're abnormal, then?'

'Can't stand it.' I don't want to talk about this any more. It hurts too much. 'But I wasn't telling you about my personal life. I was asking you about the Jackson Twins.'

He senses I'm uncomfortable. 'Well, they've got great music, with a fantastic rhythm that has you bouncing in your seat as soon as you hear the first chords. Edwina Jackson sings and plays the guitar, and Henry Jackson plays the drums and the piano.'

'What else makes them so popular?'

He shrugs. 'Well, they're equally attractive to both sexes. I can't believe you haven't heard Sirius moan over Edwina. He's obsessed. He reckons that her songs have all these extra meanings meant only for him. Don't you remember in third year, when he plastered her face all over the Gryffindor common room wall, and whenever he came into the room she'd start to sing _You're Meant For Me_?'

I laugh. 'That was Edwina Jackson? No wonder Sirius likes her. Dark hair, big eyes, huge boobs…'

He blushes. 'She does have a…sizable bust.'

I giggle, bumping my hip into his. 'Nice attempt at covering up, Mister, but I can see right through you. Is there anything else I need to know about them?'

'Ah, well, it's rumoured that they once married.'

'They once _what_?' I ask incredulously.

'Married.'

'But…Aren't they siblings?'

'Well, that's the controversy, and perhaps half the interest.'

I make a face. 'That's wrong.'

'Well, you can find out all about them for yourself in only a few more weeks.'

'That reminds me. Have you asked Flitwick about him organising the decorations yet?'

He shakes his head. 'I thought that you were.'

I roll my eyes. 'James, I asked you specifically to talk to Flitwick about it.'

He begins to say something, and then begins to laugh.

'James?'

'Okay, get this. You'll laugh so hard you'll be on the ground. Okay? Ready?'

'You know, build-up to a joke often ruins the expected result.'

'Well, this one's brilliant.'

'Just a forewarning.'

'Okay. About that decorating thing? I thought that you might be able to _charm_ Flitwick into doing it for us.'

'Oh, ha ha, Mr Clever.'

I try to hide my smile but he sees it and points to it accusingly.

'Oh, yes, Miss Priss, was that a smile my ingenious eye just detected? I think it t'was…'

I hit him over the shoulder. 'Shut up, Potter.'

He laughs. 'Never, Evans. And to prove that I never shut up, I am now going to resume our game of Truth.'

'What?' I have to think for a second and then the realisation dawns. 'Oh, no, James.'

'Oh, yes, Lily. We've still got at least five minutes to get to the tower. I'm sure we can fit in at least three questions within that time limit.'

'Do I have to?'

'Stop whinging, otherwise I might pour pumpkin juice over your head.'

I groan. 'You need to drop that, James. I said I was sorry.'

'I know, love, but still. Sirius reckons that I must be rubbing off on you. It was quite a Marauder-esque thing to do.'

'Is that supposed to be a compliment?'

He smiles at me. 'Of the highest order.'

I grin. 'I think you just wasted a minute.'

'Well, I'm not going to waste a second more. So here's my question. Why does your sister hate the fact that you're a witch?'

I roll my eyes. 'Er, no comment.'

'Come on, Lils. I want to get to know you better. Please tell me?'

'You could get to know me without asking such blunt questions.'

'Just answer the question.'

I know I'm not going to get him to be quiet unless I tell him the truth, and so I shrug. 'I honestly don't know. She's the only one in my family who thinks that it's some disaster. My parents are both really proud.' I try to set the facts as simply as I can – maybe that way I can distance myself from the hurt. 'We used to be really close. She's only a year and a half older than me, and although we look completely opposite – she's got blonde hair and was always tall for her age, whereas I'm short with this shock of red hair. Even so, that never stopped us from being really close. But now I hardly know her. She's been going out with a turd for about two years now. The old Petunia would never have even looked at a guy like that, but now everything's different.'

'Sounds harsh.'

'It is. You don't have any brothers or sisters, do you?'

He shakes his head. 'Mum and Dad were both quite old when they had me. I guess they had been trying for a while, or something. They're completely over the top when it comes to spoiling me and I know that inside there, Lily, you think that I'm a stubborn, stuck-up, spoilt rich kid. And it's probably true.' He looks at me seriously. 'But I'm trying to change that. You know, deflate my head a bit.'

I can't help smiling. 'You surprise me every day, James.'

He shrugs self-consciously. 'You never stop learning, I guess.'

I just nod.

He looks away and sighs. 'Okay, next question. Why are you always sticking up for Snape?'

I stop in my tracks. 'What?'

'I think you heard me, Lily.'

'James, are you trying to torture me, or something? What's with all these probing questions?'

He looks at me. 'I just want to know more about you. And he's always treating you like shit, Lily, but whatever he does you just keep letting it go. He's always shunning you whenever you offer help…And when he poisoned you…'

'He didn't poison me, James. I think we both know that.'

'I'm still not sure. When you were in the hospital wing I wanted to ask you why you had done it then, why you had taken that potion. Why you trust him so much when all he's ever done is…But you were still recovering. I didn't want to push you.'

'But now?'

'Now we're playing Truth. And you have to tell me, Lily.'

I look at the ceiling. 'He's a human being, James.'

'He's a human being that happens to never have treated you with any respect.'

I'm not sure what to tell him – what can I tell him when even I am not sure why I keep letting him get away with it all. I look over at the painting on the opposite wall, where three women are playing cards and obviously eavesdropping on our conversation.

'I don't know,' I say quietly.

He keeps pushing it. 'You never blow up at him, Lily. You're the one that will always blow up at me when I call people names, or do anything idiotic to them. For me everything is just a joke, but with him things are nasty. But it doesn't matter to you – whenever he does anything you just let it slide.'

'So that's what it's all about.'

'What?' He looks puzzled.

'This isn't about Snape, James, it's about you.' He just stares at me. 'You're really asking why I seem to treat you differently to Snape. Because that's what you honestly want to know.'

He shrugs. 'Then why?'

'I want Snape to grow up. He needs to realise that he's evil and that he has to do something about himself in order for people to like him. He can't treat people like they're beneath him and expect to have friends all around.' I look down at my feet. 'But he'll never be able to change if somebody doesn't believe that he can.'

James looks at me doubtfully. 'You honestly think he can change?'

I shrug. 'Yeah. I hope so.'

'So you believe that slimy git can improve. But you don't trust that I'll change?' His face becomes hard. 'You just think that I'm an immature prick who'll be that way forever? Is that why you're always yelling at me?'

He looks hurt and I shake my head. 'No. Of course not. I guess it's…it's just easier to be angry at someone you love.'

As soon as the words are out of my mouth I want to scramble them and stuff them back down my throat, but now they're out in the open, floating around for James to make of them what he will.

He watches me for a minute, completely still. And then, slowly, he comes forward and hugs me tightly, his head resting in the crook of my neck. I close my eyes, feeling his chest rise and fall rhythmically with his breathing. But just as I can feel our hearts beating at one together, I hear footsteps and drag myself away from James to see Snape come round the corridor. Above us, the three women scream dramatically.

'If it isn't Potter and Evans,' he snarls.

James turns around quickly to face him.

'Snape, curfew's over. Go back to your dormitory.'

Snape folds his arms and smirks.

'I thought patrolling meant busting the people sneaking around to canoodle. But here are the very Heads doing that exact thing.' He shakes his head. 'What an example you two are setting.'

'Snape, go to your dormitory. Now.'

He glares at James. 'Be quiet, Potter. All I want is a small chat with Lily here.'

'You can do that later. Get out of this corridor now.'

'No.'

He waves his wand and James is struck silent. I groan inwardly and flick my wand at James to remove the spell.

'Snape, please go.'

He shakes his head. 'You can't tell me what to do.'

'I think you'll find that she can,' James retorts, rather unhelpfully. Snape glares at him and turns back to me.

'You can't tell me what to do and you can't try to _change_ me either.'

I frown. 'Snape…'

'You pick up a lot of interesting conversations when you're wandering around the corridors,' he sneers. 'Thanks for the compassion but I don't need it. I don't need any of your filthy Mudblood help.'

For a minute I think that James is going to throw himself at the boy standing across from us but I hold out a hand and my hand whacks into his chest as he begins to move forward. I shake my head. 'Don't.'

This time Snape's glare turns to me. 'Don't try this game again, Evans. Don't stand up for me. Don't try and be my friend.' He spits the last word out as if it is painful and his black eyes narrow. 'Keep the hell away from me.'

I maintain eye contact. 'If that's what you want.'

His eyes get even darker, if that's possible, and before I can blink he's pulled his wand out of his robes.

'_Dirusaum_!'

The curse never reaches the intended target – me. James leaps in front of me and the jolt of yellow light hits him squarely in the chest. He falls on the ground and begins to jerk, clutching his chest and struggling for breath.

'What did you do to him?' I scream at Snape, dropping to my knees and pushing back James' hair. His eyes are wide and unseeing as he convulses. It seems to be getting even worse, and I begin to get scared. His hands are shaking and he's sweating uncontrollably. Each breath is laboured.

I look up at Snape desperately. He smirks at my fear.

'I thought you were the smartest witch in the year. Can't you remember the counter-curse for this little spell? Maybe I was right all along – you'll never be cured of that Mudblood streak.'

'Why do you do this? I cry. 'Why is it always me?'

Before I know it he's flicked his wand and I have hit the wall behind me hard. It winds me and I try to bend over but it seems as if Snape has glued me there. I stare at him as he comes closer towards me. I've never been honestly scared of him before, but now I feel the terror clamber hastily up my throat. He edges ever nearer until our noses are almost touching. He brings his hand up to my face and as he caresses it my stomach turns over. I get shivers down my spine, not like the ones I get when James touches me – these are full of dread. I see him close his eyes, his lips lingering just inches from mine. I turn my face away, and his eyes flick open. I wait, feeling his eyes bore into mine, and he withdraws his hand slowly.

He turns to go and the spell breaks, causing me to slide down the wall to huddle in a ball, shaking uncontrollably. I hear rasping and remember James, scrambling over to watch with horror as his chest almost stops moving.

I see Snape turn around and quickly fumble for my wand, but he doesn't have his drawn.

'Just so you know,' he says cruelly, 'I didn't poison that potion. But sometimes I wish I had.'

And with that, he sweeps out of the corridor.

I stare back at James; my mind battling with trying frantically to think of something to help James while still shaking at the memory of Snape's face so close to mine. My heart almost stops when I see James lurch and then lie still. I reach for my wand hastily, and, unsure of the consequences, point it at his heart. I murmur, '_Rescero_.'

He begins to fit again, but slowly the shakes lessen, and within seconds his eyes come back to focus. He's still shaking slightly, although I think that's from the shock. He looks up at me, his eyes worried.

'Are you all right?' he croaks.

I nod, trying not to let him see how scared I am. 'What about you?'

With wobbly arms he pushes himself up into a seated position, leaning against the castle wall. 'What happened?' he asks.

I shake my head. 'Don't worry about it now.' I look up at the painting above him, where the three women have deserted their cards and are huddled underneath their table. 'I need you to find Molly Weasley,' I tell the tallest of them. 'She should be in the hospital wing. Bring her back here, now.'

She nods and scrambles out from underneath the table, disappearing from view out of the corner of the painting. The other two women look at each other nervously, still clutching each other in fright.

'What did happen, Lily?' James asks quietly.

I look back down at him, but I don't want to answer. Instead I put my hand to his forehead. It's burning and I slowly withdraw it. The action makes me remember Snape's similar motion and I shiver involuntarily.

'What did he do to you?' he whispers.

I close my eyes. 'I'm not going to be sticking up for him anymore, if that's what you're wondering.'

'It wasn't, actually. I know I can be superficial sometimes, Lily…But this time he's done something to you and I want to know whether you're okay.' He takes my hand. 'Are you?'

'Okay?' I shake my head. 'I'm not sure. He…'

'He what?'

I narrow my eyes. 'I think that maybe you weren't the only one secretly – well, in your case, not so secretly – in love with me.'

He registers what I've just said, and he flushes with anger. 'What the hell did he try to do?'

'I'm okay,' I say quietly. 'Can you just…hold me? Just for a little while.'

He pulls me into his chest and I feel like I've come home. I sigh and close my eyes, breathing in his smell that is so comforting to me now.

'I'm sorry,' I whisper.

He takes my hand. 'It's okay.' He rubs his fingers over my palm for a while, and then pulls away to look at me. 'I never did get to finish those questions,' he murmurs.

I shake my head. 'It doesn't matter, James.' I smile. 'And besides, you already asked two questions in a row. What about my turn?'

'But this was important. Please, just hear me out.'

I can't resist. 'Okay.'

He grins. 'Would you like to go to the Harmony Ball with me?'

I raise an eyebrow. 'No, I wouldn't _like_ to.' His face falls and I manage a weak laugh. 'Jeez, Potter, never heard of a cliché before?' I move even closer to him, if that's possible, and smile. 'I'd love to go with you.'

**Acknowledgements**: Okay, it's a very clichéd ending, but I happen to love fluff and will keep writing all this sweet goodness until all of you guys tell me to stop. If you were still wondering about what happened between Lily and Snape, I think that Snape was always in love with Lily but hated the fact that he was. He was tormented by his contrasting desires to have her and to hurt her. But we're not going to be seeing much more of him, because when she was against the wall, and he touched her and she turned away, he realised she would never have him. Then he just gets bitter, hating Harry because he had secretly wanted to be the father etc. Meh, if it's implausible I don't really care, it's how I thought it all out. But the point is, if what just happened didn't make sense to you, I hope I cleared up some stuff.

Now onto my long list of thank you's. All 17 of them! (I am NOT going to thank Mr Pickles.) Thanks go to: _popkornchicken_; _embracing_; _PurpleLight_; _Eve1980_; _shmokey_-_bear_; _shay_; _mean_-_girl123_; _Leigh A. Sumpter_; _Ilana Potter_; _girl from across the bridge_; _danielradcliffeisreallyhot_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_; _Burgirhig_; _Lily Witchcraft_; _Whitelight72_; _mrspadfoot4eva_ and _Julia_. Also thanks to _ohsnap its potter_, who would've reviewed if her computer were working. I had so many new reviewers last time and if other new people reviewed I would love it (to all my oldies: please keep writing those brilliant little comments too!). You have no idea how happy I get whenever someone takes the time to tell me they liked it. Thank you all so much and I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can!


	11. Deck The Halls

**A/N**: So many of my reviewers for the last chapter told me that Snape was such a murderous, lying, slimy git! Most of you liked the theory as to why Snape is so mentally disturbed, which I was pleased about. So thanks for all of those people that grr-ed over the greaseball and told me how much they liked the chapter – I hope that **Deck The Halls** is as good! In this chapter all your prayers to do with this story will be answered, and I can safely say that all your fluffiness urges will be met without one mention of mistletoe. Enjoy, and remember to review…

_In our last chapter_:

I stare at Snape as he comes closer towards me. I've never been honestly scared of him before, but now I feel the terror clamber hastily up my throat. He brings his hand up to my face and as he caresses it my stomach turns over. I get shivers down my spine, not like the ones I get when James touches me – these are full of dread. I see him close his eyes, his lips lingering just inches from mine. I turn my face away, and his eyes flick open. I wait, feeling his eyes bore into mine, and he withdraws his hand slowly…

'I never did get to finish those questions,' James says softly.

I shake my head. 'You already asked two questions in a row.'

'But this question was important. Please, just hear me out.'

'Okay.'

He grins. 'Would you like to go to the Harmony Ball with me?'

I raise an eyebrow. 'No, I wouldn't _like_ to.' His face falls and I laugh. 'Jeez, Potter, never heard of a cliché before?' I move closer to him and smile. 'I'd love to go with you.'

**Deck The Halls**

also known as

**But You Can't Leave Me With That Vulgar Male All Christmas!**

'I wish you didn't have to leave,' I say mournfully from my position in my bed as I watch Alice pack. She just laughs at me.

'It's not for that long, Lily.'

'Do you really believe that?'

She rolls her eyes at me. 'You're just grumpy because you will have James all to yourself this holiday, without your little best friend ready to snatch you away whenever things get ugly.'

'I hope Sirius is feeling clingy this Christmas,' I say darkly.

Alice chuckles, and abandons the search to find her favourite purple jumper for a second. 'I don't think he's feeling particularly clingy – at least not to Mr James Potter. Did you see him last night? He was snogging that sixth year, Harriet whatshername, so hard you couldn't tell where he ended and where she began.'

'Ew, Alice!'

'Just giving you the facts of life. And like you've never snogged a guy that hard.'

'What's making me feel sick is the fact that the next guy I will be kissing like that will be Potter himself.'

Alice absentmindedly flicks her wand in the direction of her dancing shoes, and they give a little twirl before landing in the bottom of her suitcase. 'He's not that bad.'

'You happen to have a boyfriend,' I remind her.

'I know. And I happen to be very excited, albeit slightly nervous, about meeting his family this Christmas.' She smiles. 'And of course, I'm _devastated_ to be missing out on your big night. I'll be the only Hogwarts student not staying this Christmas – excluding Frank, of course.' She shakes back her long hair. 'But to get back to the point, Lily, you have to admit, James Potter happens to be one of the more desirable males at Hogwarts.'

Maybe that's the reason why all I've had in my head recently is his beautiful intense hazel eyes and lovely big hands. I shake my head. James Potter and I are incompatible. Nothing is going to change that. Nothing. Not even my best friend admitting that she too finds him absolutely gorgeous…Which gives me an idea…

'Have you got any idea what to get him, then?'

She shrugs. 'For the fourth time, I have no idea. You're the one spending all the time with him. I just get to look at his beautiful bum.'

'That's wrong, Alice.' I sigh. 'I should have some idea about what to get him. But even though I've spent more time with Potter than I would've ever liked, I'm completely at loss with figuring out his Christmas present. Damn you and your harebrained plans, Alice!'

She just laughs at me.

I've been talking about myself for long enough. I decide that the best idea would be to change the subject. 'So, did I hear this right? You have to go to a ball too?'

Alice waves her wand at her clothes beside her suitcase and they start folding up neatly and packing themselves in the large suitcase. She comes and sits down next to me, watching her clothes contentedly.

'Al?'

'What? Oh, the ball. Right. Yeah, apparently it's a Longbottom family tradition. On Christmas Night everyone gets all dressed up and they have this huge ball with all the wizarding families in the area. And this year Frank invited me.'

I smile. 'Best damn Christmas he'll ever have.'

She blushes, but her attempt at hiding a smile doesn't fool me. She's been the happiest girl in Hogwarts ever since she started going out with Frank, and she deserves to be. I know I should stop being a wet blanket, should stop harassing her with all the details about my doomed romance with Potter, and so I get up from the bed and clap my hands together.

'Let's go and have a farewell hot chocolate before Frank snatches you away.'

She nods. 'Sure.' She pulls on my sleeve as I turn away, and smiles. 'Have a good ball tomorrow night, Lily.'

'And you have a good Christmas, Alice.'

She grins. 'Oh, I will.'

_III_

I stand in front of the mirror nervously, watching the foreign girl reflected in it bite her lip as she looks at me up and down. I hardly ever spend a long time on my appearance, so the girls that share my dorm savoured the chance of dressing me up. Greta chose my dress – a deep green that is the same colour of my eyes, pulled in tight at the waist and trailing along the floor. Polly convinced me that my hair would look good with ringlets, and then proceeded to take two hours creating the 'perfect' hairdo for me. My long red hair is now pinned up in soft curls, with dozens of Greta's favourite tiny magical diamonds sparkling through. And Sara couldn't resist doing my make-up. My eyes look huge in my pale face, flushed with embarrassment as I watch the others looking at me eagerly for my reaction.

I turn and smile shyly. 'Thank you,' I tell them, and they shriek, clapping their hands and jumping up and down. Greta hugs me and spins me around.

'James Potter will declare you utterly delicious,' she remarks.

Sara laughs. 'Not just James Potter. The whole of Hogwarts!'

'Yeah, lucky I have a boyfriend who is very devoted,' Polly giggles. 'You do look beautiful, Lily.'

I can feel myself blushing even harder. It's the curse of all redheads. 'Thanks. You look amazing too.'

They pick up their clutches and, giggling and looking utterly excited, walk out the door. I turn back to the mirror and take a deep breath. The girl in the mirror smiles a little. Greta is right. James is definitely going to be impressed.

And with that thought in my head, I make my way down the dormitory steps. But I lose my nerve when I get to the first landing, and peek around the stone wall down into the common room. There are hardly any people – the girls made sure that they made a fashionably late appearance. James is smiling and waving goodbye to a few of his friends, waiting for me beside the staircase. He looks absolutely gorgeous in his black dress robes.

Note to self: need to see Molly ASAP to get a cure for this attraction to Potter.

I take a deep breath, deciding that I have to get it over and done with. I walk as confidently as I can down the stairs, smiling as James turns his head and to see me. He follows me with his eyes as I walk down to him. Even with heels on I'm still a head shorter than him. As I stare into his eyes a thought strikes me: when we do eventually kiss he'll get an awful cramp in his neck.

His hand hovers over my face and hair, and he sighs, pulling his hand away. 'You are perfect,' he murmurs. 'I don't want to touch you in case I ruin it all.'

I giggle. 'You won't.' I look him up and down. 'You aren't too bad yourself.'

He's still quiet, taking my hand in his. Slowly he leans in. I stop breathing, and close my eyes as his lips land on my forehead. He seems to rest them there for a long time, and I breathe in his scent and become slightly dizzy.

He pulls away and smiles. 'We should really get going,' he says. 'McGonagall will kill us.'

I nod. 'Okay.'

He holds out his arm gallantly. I take it, and we hurry through the portrait hole down the corridors to the front of the Great Hall, where Professor McGonagall is standing.

When she sees us her face lights up with relief. 'There you two are!' she exclaims. 'Where have you been?' I open my mouth but she waves her hand and resumes talking at top speed again. 'Never mind! Now, quick, the band's about to begin, you have to go in there and start the first dance.'

I don't think I heard her right. 'Um, what?'

James tugs on my arm. 'Come on, Lily.'

I stand my ground. 'What the hell is going on?'

McGonagall looks impatient. 'The opening of the ball is to be done by the Heads.' At my still-stunned face she adds, 'You agreed, Miss Evans. I happened to be present at the meeting when it was decided upon, and you nodded your head at the suggestion.'

I look at James, who is smiling slightly. 'This was your idea, wasn't it,' I hiss.

He shrugs. 'You were planning to dance with me anyway, Lily. And besides, it's a nice way to start the ball.'

'But everyone will be watching us,' I whisper. 'They'll be watching me.'

He laughs. 'I'll say it again: they were always going to. You're gorgeous when you wake up with your hair all mussed from the night before, with crease marks across your face. Guys stop in corridors to watch you past like that. But tonight…tonight you're made up, and I think you should be prepared to have guys drop dead at the very sight of you.' He leans in close. 'You look beautiful.'

'Are you two done?' McGonagall asks. 'You really have to begin.'

I let my hand be taken by James, and sighing, I hold the fall of my dress so I don't trip over while I'm walking. I mentally wish that Alice were here to get me out of this situation as McGonagall smiles and, with a wave of her wand, the large doors open.

The hall looks stunning. It has been transformed into an ice palace, with real icicles hung from the ceiling and snow falling gently against a dark blue sky glittering with stars. Four Christmas trees reaching the ceiling stand in each of the Hall's corners, sparkling with real fairies. There are a dozen round tables set with white tablecloths, tiny candles and a bunch of white roses dripping with small icicles towards our end of the hall, to make space for the checkerboard dance floor. And, of course, a large flag with the Hogwarts crest flutters above the teacher's table at the front of the hall.

James smiles at me and we walk through the crowd of people watching us, everyone dressed up and flushed with excitement. I spot Greta and her date, a tall Ravenclaw sixth year, and smile at her waving. The three other Marauders whistle and catcall as we pass them, James chuckling and clutching me a bit tighter. We reach the dance floor, stopping in the centre. I let my dress fall and take his hand as the music starts. He holds the small of my back and we begin to dance, me blushing harder by the second as I can feel everyone's eyes on us. James leans closer towards my ear, and smiling, whispers, 'Stop being so embarrassed. Enjoy the moment.'

I groan quietly. 'How can you not mind all this attention?'

'How did you ever agree to the Head Girl job when you don't like being looked at?' he retorts.

'When they're looking at me that way they're listening to the changes I want to make to the school; they're listening to my brains and not my bust.' I shrug. 'Maybe you don't see the difference but it's important to me.'

'You didn't ever think that as well as listening to your brains they were watching your bust?'

I almost slap him but restrain myself. That would be something everyone would remember till the end of time – the Head Girl slapping the Head Boy during the first dance of the Harmony Ball. That would really stress the importance of trust, love and overall happiness, to quote Dumbledore. So I opt for a loud squeal, which is mostly drowned out by the violins.

'James!'

'What? It's the truth, Lily.'

I shake my head. 'Can we talk about something else now?'

The song ends and James bows dramatically. 'As the lady wishes.'

And so he starts talking about other things, making me laugh and start to enjoy the ball. He can really dance – an accomplishment I never would've thought this Marauder to be capable of, and I have so much fun I'm disappointed when the dance floor clears for dinner. We sit with the other Marauders and their dates, eating roasts and potatoes and dozens of other vegetables. After a dare from Peter, Sirius consumes five full plates of main course and three desserts without being sick; a feat that he announces will go down in history. James pulls me onto his lap for dessert and we get the fudgy chocolate cake that James hand-feeds to me, laughing and every so often directing the spoon into his mouth instead.

The Jackson Twins come on after a suitable digesting time and James and I get right in the middle of the swarm of students screaming and singing along to every single word, swaying along to the beat. When it all becomes too loud we come out to the outer-edges of the mass of people and we slow dance, the music pounding in my ears and into my chest.

The big Hogwarts clock strikes twelve all too soon and the Jackson Twins leave to cries of disappointment. The previous band returns and couples take to the floor, canoodling and cuddling. Needless to say James and I are out there for quite a long time, just moving from side to side, occasionally smiling at each other. People start to disappear back to their dormitories and at two in the morning, when I'm almost falling asleep against his chest, James pulls me away and we head back up to the Gryffindor tower. The Fat Lady is giggling away as yet another Quidditch player peels grapes and puts them into her open mouth. As we come up she smiles at us contentedly.

'Ah, young love!' she remarks, looking at our entwined hands. She places her hand over her heart dramatically and sighs. She looks behind her at the Quidditch player and giggles. 'And not-so-young love!'

When we finally get through the portrait hole we find the common room completely empty, the fire just a few orange coals in the large fireplace. One of the windows is half open and a cold breeze wafts through, giving me goosebumps. But it doesn't matter – inside I'm warm and happy.

James looks down at me. 'So, did you enjoy tonight?'

I smile back at him. 'I don't think I've had a better Christmas.'

'I'm glad.'

He doesn't make any motion to move away, just stands there with me in his arms, gazing at me.

'James?'

He shakes his head and raises his eyebrows. 'Sorry. Got a bit…distracted.'

I just laugh at him.

'Ah, Lily? Look, you might want to wait until the morning…'

'It _is_ the morning, James.'

He nods. 'Right. Well…would you mind if I gave you your present now?'

I shake my head. 'Not at all.'

He leads me over to the fire and points his wand at it. It flares up, warming the room considerably.

James sighs. 'That's better. Now.' He sits down on the ground and I kneel next to him, my dress' skirt spread out around me. He smiles and reaches into his jacket pocket, drawing out a tiny white package.

'You still wear that chain I gave you for your birthday, don't you?' he asks nervously.

I point to the chain around my neck. It still has James' charm attached to it, as well as a dozen other pieces collected over the year. I didn't want to wear it at first, because I thought it would lead him on, but it is very beautiful and now that we are going out there's not really a problem…

'Of course.'

'Well, here's something else for it.' He hands me the package and with trembling fingers – _that potion, Molly!_ – I open it to discover a gorgeous charm of a silver cut-out of boy and girl holding hands. My mouth drops open. 'Oh, James!'

He smiles awkwardly. 'Do you like it?'

I finger it gently. 'I love it, James. Thank you!'

I take off my necklace and thread the charm onto it, clasping it back around my neck. The silver is cold against my warm skin.

James grins. 'It looks beautiful.'

'Thank you,' I tell him again.

He goes a bit red. 'It's nothing.'

I smile. 'I might as well give you your present now, seeing as though you gave me mine.'

He chuckles. 'I wouldn't say no to that.'

I grin. 'I hope it's up to expectations.'

'I'm sure it will be.' He smiles encouragingly at me and I shuffle closer to him, my heart pounding. 'Do you have to get it?' he asks.

I shake my head. 'No, I have it here.' I show him my closed fist.

He laughs. 'You've certainly made me curious.'

'I should hope so.' I edge even closer to him. I'm almost in his lap now. I hold my fist in front of his nose and smile. 'Merry Christmas, James,' I whisper, opening my hand.

He looks shocked as my palm opens to thin air, but then, smiling at his confused expression, I lean forward and capture his mouth with mine, kissing him with all my might and getting tingles down my spine. His mouth is firm and soft at the same time and it tastes so very good…And maybe this wasn't as bad as I had thought it was going to be…I mean, Potter may be my mortal enemy but he sure is one hell of a kisser. I pull away breathlessly, shivering at his soft touch on my cheek. I look up at him and wordlessly he draws my face in close. He pushes back my hair and cradles my head in his large hands, kissing me gently but with so much passion I want to melt against him.

He breaks away and leans his forehead against mine. I press my lips to his once more and slowly get up, smiling at him down on the ground.

'Merry Christmas, James.'

**Acknowledgements**: Heh heh. Fluff. You gotta love it. Anyhoo, thank you to all of my reviewers for my last chapter, **Dangerous Affairs (Pt II)**. I love you all so much for the positive feedback, and keep it up! I'm up to 108 reviews now (I never thought I'd get to a hundred!) and if I ever got 200 for this I would be so stoked…So for all of you out there, if you like this story, review! Even if it's just a word, I'd love you and you'd get your name down here!

Thank you muchly to: _Julia or Jamie im not fussy_ (if you think of a brilliant name then I'll unblock Mr Pickles, I promise); _Burgirhig_; _mean_-_girl123_; _GiddyGirlie_; _ohsnap its potter_ (who always tells me how she thinks she's running out of words to tell me how much she likes my story, which makes me feel so happy and I want to hug her lots to thank her!); the ever-wonderful _embracing_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_; _mrspadfoot4eva_; _popkornchicken_ and _shmokey-bear_.

**PS** I'm thinking of writing another James and Lily story after I finish this one – either a chapter fic or even just a long one-shot. Basically I'm thinking that the tables will be turned, so James gives up trying to ask Lily out, which only succeeds in causing her to realise what she's been rejecting all the years. And so then she tries to get him to go out with her using all her feminine charms…Very fluffy, but would you guys read it? Tell me what you think.


	12. Feet Firmly On The Ground

**A/N**: I'm so happy that all of you liked my latest fluffy chapter. This too is full of Lily/James lurve (and for all of those who watch _The OC_, a very Seth/Summer moment), and I hope that you enjoy it. Anyhoo, as usual, please post a review for this story – all comments are appreciated (although I do especially like the nice ones!). And now that we've got all that out of the way, let's bibbity-boppety-boo along to **Feet Firmly On The Ground**.

_In our last chapter_:

I press my lips to his once more and slowly get up, smiling at him down on the ground.

'Merry Christmas, James.'

**Feet Firmly On The Ground**

also known as

**Watch Out For That Tree!**

'So, I'm guessing that he liked the Christmas present,' Alice says as we go into the Great Hall for lunch on Saturday.

I giggle. 'More than liked. You should've seen his face when I stood up to go to bed. If you thought his puppy-dog eyes were hard to resist…'

She nudges me. 'And what about you? No throwing up when his lips touched yours, like you were expecting? Did you enjoy it too?'

_More than I would ever admit_. I shake my head, reaching for a bread roll. 'No, I didn't throw up, but I'm not there to enjoy it, you know that. I'm there to break his heart.'

Alice rolls her eyes at me. 'Come on, Lily, he's the hottest Quidditch player Hogwarts has ever seen – and probably will _ever_ see. He's got good abs, a nice bum, and eyes that make you want to melt. Screw the plan for two seconds and tell me how you really feel.'

'Alice!' I exclaim.

'What? When a girl can't enjoy her own boyfriend's kisses then she's seriously got some problems.'

I scoff at her. 'You're the one that made me like this, Alice! You're the one that thought up this plan in the first place. You're not supposed to be encouraging the enjoyment factor of this! What am I supposed to do, love it all and let him get away with everything? No.' I shrug. 'And besides, if I did let myself get carried away in the…physical aspect of our relationship, it would make it all the harder for me to get away from him.'

She pouts at me and moodily starts to eat her fish and chips. 'Fine.'

'And for the fiftieth time, you have Frank, one of the sweetest guys on the planet. Why do you need details of my condemned relationship when you have such a brilliant thing right there in front of you?'

'Because I want you to be happy. And you don't tell me enough about your private life.'

'Conversation aborted,' I say hurriedly as I spy James and Remus almost at our seats. Alice grins at me and pretends to wipe her forehead from the suspense. She earns a well-deserved Lily Evans death glare.

'Free this afternoon, Lily my dear?' James asks as he sits down.

'Well, actually…'

'Good. I'm going to give you flying lessons.'

I stare at him, my mouth agape. 'What?'

He looks up from tearing his bread roll apart. 'Flying lessons. You and me.'

'No way, James.'

He frowns. 'Why not?'

I shake my head. 'Flying and I…we don't get along. End of story.'

'Come on, Lily. It's not that bad.'

'That's what you think. You were probably born holding a broom. However, in this lifetime I need my feet firmly planted on the ground, thank you very much.'

Remus looks at me, his eyes narrowing. 'I remember flying lessons in first year,' he muses, and then turns to James. 'Yeah, mate, maybe you don't want to do this.'

'Why not?'

'Can't you remember?' Alice asks.

James shakes his head.

Remus and Alice look at each other and, in unison, say, 'Well…'

'Um, hello?' I say, waving furiously at them. 'Have my friends just deserted me in my time of desperate need? There is no way that you are telling Potter about that day.'

'Why not? He was there.'

'Yes, but he's thankfully forgotten all about the little incident. Why should he be forced to remember such a painful time?'

Alice rolls her eyes at me and proceeds to throw caution to the wind. 'To put it in a simple sentence, James, she pushed down on the ground so hard she flew about fifty feet up in the air, and then zoomed straight into the Whomping Willow.'

I want to curse her into oblivion but all I can do is rub my head at the memory. Remus sees and adds, 'She broke her leg and wrist and got seventy stitches to the head.'

James laughs, not even stopping when I give him my world-class death stare. 'I was never in that class. I was serving detention with Prufrock for something…I remember being absolutely gutted about it, and wishing I had been in the class, not just because it was another chance to get back on a broom, but because I had heard that Lily had gotten hurt.'

'My saviour,' I say dryly. They just laugh at me. 'There is no way that I am going on a broom again, James.'

He nods. 'You are.'

'I'm not.'

He grabs my hand from across the table. 'Last time you were on a broom I couldn't have done a thing to stop you from crashing into the Willow. But this time I'll be there to save you.' His eyes search mine. 'Trust me.'

III 

James slams the cupboard closed and hands me an old scruffy broom.

'Here you are.'

I stare at it in his outstretched hands. 'That thing? Are you sure it even knows basic directions?'

He rolls his eyes. 'Lily. Be nice. This is Penelope.'

I look at the broom, wondering if somewhere behind the thin wood a beautiful girl is hiding. 'I can't see a Penelope,' I remark.

'The broom, Lily. The broom's Penelope.'

I stare at him. 'You named the broom?'

He shrugs. 'You have to have a good relationship with the things. I always use Penelope when my broom is at the repairers. Everyone tries to get Penelope when they can.'

I take the broom gingerly. 'All right. But you know, you really should be focusing on preparing yourself for the Grand Final next week, instead of attempting to teach me how to fly.'

James just rolls his eyes. 'Thanks for the support, Lily, but I'll be fine. Besides, this is much more important.'

He leads me outside onto the pitch. The sun beats down on my head but even the beautiful day can't shake off my gut feeling that something is about to go very, very wrong.

But before I can back out of all this, James starts to demonstrate how to push off.

'And when you want to move from side to side, make sure that you handle Penelope quite firmly.' He takes the broom from me and basically wrenches it from side to side. 'Like this. She can be stubborn sometimes.'

I decide against telling him that he sounds like a paedophile, and instead straddle the broom like he's telling me to. I grip the handle tightly, so tight I can see my knuckles turning white. Why did I ever agree to this? I hate heights. I get it from my dad. Who gets it from his dad. Vertigo is extremely common in my family. And nothing that James Potter can do or say is going to stop that.

'Okay, now just gently push off from the ground.' James smiles at me encouragingly and probably because I'm so nervous, I push my feet down hard and then suddenly it's like I'm back in first year again, hurtling with amazing speed towards – not the Whomping Willow this time, but one of the goal posts at the very end of the pitch. I can hear James shouting at me to stop, to pull her around, to do anything, but I'm paralysed with terror. With each passing second I grip the broom even tighter, not wanting to look down at the ground racing below me, for fear of falling off. The wind whips my hair out of its braid and I can't even scream I'm so scared, the goal post looming large in front of me and there is nothing I can do to get away. As I squeeze my eyes shut, certain of a premature death, something crashes into the side of me and suddenly I am falling through the air.

Before I know what's happened I'm on the ground and James' arms are around me so tightly I think I might suffocate. He holds my head into his chest and I hang on to him so I can know that I'm all right.

'Merlin, Lily!' he breathes. 'What were you thinking?'

He pulls away and I stagger away, collapsing on the ground. I bury my head in my hands and try to control the shaking that has taken over my body, but no matter what I do I can't stop the convulsions.

He come and sits next to me, pulling my body in to his. After a couple of minutes of deep, intense breathing I eventually calm down and I murmur into his chest, 'James?'

He nods.

I push away from him and slap his chest hard, yelling at him. 'I _told_ you it was going to be a disaster, Potter, and look what just happened!' I hit him again, pushing him until he's on the ground groaning at my fists colliding with his body. 'I almost DIED out there! And it would've been _all your fault_ because you didn't listen to me when I told you that it was a bad idea, that heights and me don't work, that brooms and I do NOT get along…Why the hell do you think humans don't have wings? Because we're not bloody birds, that's why, we're not meant to be up in the air like that, gravity is pulling us into the centre of the earth, you know, whatever must go up must come down and all that science crap…'

'Lily,' he says, but then I attack him again and speaking becomes a thoroughly difficult task for him. Maybe I need anger management, but hitting a solid object sure helps the pain. Also, Alice's plan is probably down the plughole now that I am hitting my boyfriend with so much force he will have bruises across his chest tomorrow, talking absolute Muggle nonsense to him, but I don't care. He almost killed me!

'Lily!' he yells. 'Stop!'

'No!' I shriek. 'You deserve it!'

He struggles to get up and somehow finds my wrists, holding them hostage. 'Stop!' he pants. 'I'm really sorry, okay? I shouldn't have let you get up there so quickly. It was completely the wrong thing to do.' He shakes his head and lets me go. 'Merlin's uncle…'

I huff at him, getting up and preparing to stalk off the pitch. Stuff the bloody plan. I personally think my life is worth more. 'Goodbye, James.'

He scrambles up and stops in front of me. 'Not that easy, Lily. Come on, I know you'll like it if you just try it again.'

'Maybe you like hurtling through the air to almost certain death, Potter, but to most people it's a horrible experience not to be repeated.'

'Please. Just come back with me. I'll come on the broom with you. Everything will be okay. I'll be there to save you, to stop you from falling. I'll hold you, and everything will be all right.' He holds out his hand. 'Trust me.'

I shake my head. 'No way, Potter. You told me to trust you before and you almost got me killed. No way am I going anywhere near you…Or Penelope.'

He shrugs. 'Then we won't go on Penelope. You can come on my broom.'

I consider the options. 'Does it have a name?'

He shakes his head. 'It is completely nameless. And very willing for you to be on it with me.'

'Because brooms really think like that.' I shake my head. 'I don't think I should do this, James.'

'Then don't think and just do.' He grabs my hand and takes me over to where his broom is hovering in midair, ready for us to mount.

'You're going to come on with me?' I ask uncertainly.

He laughs. 'No way am I letting you get on a broom by yourself.'

'I'm feeling especially…glutenous this week. I'll be too heavy for it. We'll be scraping our knees on the ground.'

He grabs me and gives me a quick hug. 'Don't talk bollocks. You're not too heavy and there is no way that you are glutenous – you're perfect. Now get onto this broom before I do something you'll slap me for.'

I sigh and mount the broom, feeling James get on behind me. He's so tall when he leans over to hold my hands on the broom I can feel his entire chest close in around my back. It feels oddly comfortable, despite the fact within a few seconds I'm going to be up in the air again.

'Okay.' He steadies himself and bends his knees slightly. 'Don't worry, Lily. Let me do the work. Just give in to the feeling of it all, okay?'

I nod and squeal as we lift off from the ground, but James is holding the broom steady and I don't fall off and neither do we go too fast, he gets us up in the air for a bit, and then starts to fly around the pitch. The breeze feels lovely on my face and I begin to think that it may not be that bad after all. James is making sure we fly slowly and although I feel a bit dizzy when I look down at the ground so far below us, I know he's one of the best Quidditch players on the team and he would never let me fall. I start to laugh and I can sense James' pleasure at sharing something with me that he loves so much.

'Want to go a bit faster?' he whispers.

'Ah…'

He chuckles. 'Come on. Live a little.' And with that we're off, zooming around the pitch, hurtling through the cold air, ducking this way and that. I feel breathless, unable to take in air because of the pure excitement. So this is why James does it. For this feeling – this utter freedom edged with the feeling of always being almost out of control, soaring in the air and giving everything in to the sheer bliss of it all. I fling my arms out and close my eyes, wishing this moment could last forever.

And then suddenly we're back on the ground again, and I scramble off the broom quickly. I whip around to face him. I think he thinks there's going to be another repeat of my first flying experience with him, and he looks slightly nervous.

'Thank you,' I tell him simply.

He looks confused. 'What for?'

'For giving me that.' I grin. 'Can we go again?'

**Acknowledgements**: Thank you muchly to everyone that reviewed for **Deck The Halls** – from what I read you all really liked it and so I hope that this one was just as good!

To all my gorgeous reviewers – I love you so much! Thanks to: _Julia or Jamie im not fussy_ (now forever to be known as _islington bus no. 199_!); _embracing_; _Burgirhig_; _mean_-_girl123_; _shmokey-bear_; _ohsnap its potter_ (with a little note because I know how happy that makes you – and I promise that the letter will be coming soon!); _m-girls_; _Your Tiny Dancer_; _popkornchicken_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_; _mrspadfoot4eva_; and finally _Lily Witchcraft_. Thank you again, and I should have the next chapter up next week!

- _Auriela_


	13. Inexplicable Urges

**A/N**: Sorry about the wait for this chapter. I spent all of last week at Jindabyne on a school ski excursion (I can ski now, as opposed to just bum-sliding my way down the mountains!). I know, first New Caledonia, now Jindabyne…I seem to have a nasty habit of getting sick every time I go away – the reason this time was I was cooped up with eight other girls in a tiny room with only mere hours of sleep invigorating us enough to get up every day and ski. A highlight was watching Angus strip to the Macarena, but the best moment had to be when three hundred odd teenagers started to sing _Wonderwall_ to no music, while the teachers tried not to smile and join in. If you haven't yelled out those brilliant lyrics surrounded by people you love, then boy, you haven't lived.

Anyway, on to the story! This chapter was difficult to write, because it just kind of fills in space, and not much happens in it. There are only four more chapters left in this story, and I'm eager to post those up because they're the good ones, the ones that you've all been waiting for! But for now, I hope you enjoy this, and please review and tell me what you thought!

**Note**: This situation at the beginning is dedicated to _popkornchicken_, who has been waiting for this to happen since I started the entire project.

_In our last chapter_:

I feel breathless, unable to take in air because of the pure excitement. So this is why James does it. For this feeling – this utter freedom edged with the feeling of always being almost out of control, soaring in the air and giving everything in to the sheer bliss of it all. I fling my arms out and close my eyes, wishing this moment could last forever.

'Thank you,' I tell him simply.

He looks confused. 'What for?'

'For giving me that.' I grin. 'Can we go again?'

**Inexplicable Urges**

also known as

**How Clichéd Can You Get?**

'I know that I've always said that Potions is important and everything, James, but you honestly don't have to be in here.'

He chuckles. 'Can I yell for Sirius? This is a one-in-a-lifetime occurrence, and he's not here to witness it.' He shakes his head. 'I've never heard you put off homework before, Lils.'

'Well…'

His eyes narrow. 'Ah, but that _was_ the third time you've told me that I should leave. Are you subtly trying to hint something, Lily my dear?'

I shake my head emphatically. 'I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just don't want the Slytherins to beat a Bludger at you, and because you were in the Library pretending to study with me instead of being on the pitch with Sirius practising hard for this match, you get your head turned inside out so badly I'll start throwing up and even Molly won't be able to do anything about it. You'll be dead. Gone.'

He blinks at me, and I stare straight back at him. I'm the first to break eye contact, shrugging half-heartedly. 'What, it could happen.'

He nods his head. 'And the sky could start raining lemonade.'

I open my mouth. 'Well, technically…'

He laughs, and leans over the desk to cover my mouth with his hand. I shiver at his touch and look up into his eyes. He smiles. 'Shut up, Lily, okay?' He removes his hand and lets his fingers graze the side of my cheek before crouching over his Potions essay again. 'Just…help me out here. I still have no idea what Slughorn was on about in class.'

I roll my eyes at him and start to explain about how certain potions mixed together can have either good or bad consequences, and how there are ways that wizards and witches can spot the differences and prevent or bring about certain situations, before I feel something touching my foot. I jump and look underneath the desk, but there's nothing there.

James is looking at me strangely. 'What's the matter with you?'

I shake my head. 'Forget it. Finish the questions, Potion-boy.'

He just laughs, bending his head forward and scribbling information down on his parchment. This time when the thing touches my leg I scream and leap about a foot in the air. Others scattered around the Library turn to look at me, the crazy girl who has something weird touching her foot. Madam Turner swirls around the corner of one of the bookshelves in a flurry of purple spangled robes, and begins to yell at me about the peace and quiet that the Library advocates. I don't even try to tell her that I'm all for peace and quiet, it's just that when an unknown object starts to crawl up your leg retaining the silence around you is kind of difficult.

James bats his eyes at her and soon has her blushing and melting away back into the background, and he looks at me in wonderment. 'I know that Potions can be disturbing, but I've never had someone yell out like that before.'

I lean over to him and hiss, 'It's not that. Something is crawling up my foot.'

'What? That's ludicrous.'

'It's not. Twice something has tried to get up my leg.'

He looks at me funny, and then begins to laugh. 'You mean this?'

Suddenly the thing is back on my leg and I squirm away. 'Yes, that! What in Merlin's name is it?'

He smirks at me. 'Why don't you just look under the desk?'

I frown at him, and lowering myself slowly down, fully expecting to see a Crumple Horned Snorsnack, or whatever Martin Lovegood happens to be harping about this week, peering up at me with big red eyes from underneath the desk…But all I see is Potter's green sock with flying Snitches all over it nuzzling my calf.

I look up, my eyes wide open. 'What are you doing?'

He shakes his head, stifling laughter. 'You should've seen your face!'

'Thanks very much, Potter, but I don't really like having your foot playing with mine!'

'But you don't?' I feel his foot inching up my leg. He maintains eye contact with me, moving forward slightly in his seat and hooking his foot around the back of my knee. He raises his eyebrows at me when I try to hide a smile. So what if it does feel good? He's tickling the back of my knee with his foot, for Merlin's sake, anyone would enjoy that. I giggle softly and he slowly takes his foot away, resting it lightly on top of mine. He presses it and removes his foot. I find his with mine and tap it, and then we are away, stifling laughter as we press each other's feet underneath the table. Madam Turner passes us, her wand poised as a stack of books float before her, and James and I quickly stop what we're doing and pretend to study. When she's out of sight we laugh, and James pulls his chair around to my side of the table and swings his arm over my shoulder. I can't write properly but at the moment I'm not really minding, because the feeling of James' strong arm around my shoulder makes me feel safe and protected. He breathes my name into my ear and I giggle.

'That tickles,' I whisper.

He chuckles. 'Good.' He brushes some hair from my face, and as I turn my face upwards towards him, he begins to lean in. But just as his lips graze mine there's a screech, and Madam Turner is back from dumping that stack of books somewhere, and she's yelling at us that there is to be no 'canoodling' in the Library.

And, unfortunately, no eye-batting from James will make her change her mind.

III

Quidditch is so much more exciting and nerve-wracking when you have someone out there on the pitch that you actually feel something for…My stomach honestly aches watching James have to use his best Quidditch skills to dodge bludgers and the scary Slytherin opponents.

But it's not because I love him. No way. It's just because I'm thinking of the last Quidditch game I was at, were Remus accused me of being in love with Potter, which I most certainly am not. I mean, you can feel something for someone and not be in love with them, can't you? Because there is no way on earth that I could ever love James – it's not in my genetic makeup – but I can still like him and enjoy being around him, and not have to think too carefully about all of the connotations that go along with all of that. Right?

God, my head hurts thinking about all of that. And I know that I shouldn't' be thinking too hard. I should be screaming for Gryffindor and booing the Slytherins…I sigh and watch James being chased by a Bludger, and although the pesky butterflies in my stomach do leap at the sight of it, he dodges out of the way and one of the twins bats it at the Slytherin Keeper.

Beside me, Alice screams with delight. 'We're thirty up!' she tells me excitedly.

I smile at her and gaze around the pitch, trying not to think to hard or look at James too closely. He looks so damned good on a broomstick, once my eyes are on him it's kind of hard to drag them away, if you get what I mean. I see Molly on the edge of the pitch, looking up at the game above her, obviously waiting for the inevitable to happen so she can be with the injured straight away.

'Alice,' I yell, over the noise, 'I have to go…for a second.'

She looks at me incredulously. 'Where?'

'To the bathroom,' I lie.

She waves her hand at me, and turns back to the game. She won't even notice I'm not there. I hop down off the seat and wind my way through the stands. This is the perfect idea. I can talk to Molly about this absurd attraction to Potter, therefore still technically being at the game, but not really having to look in the direction of one dark-haired bespectacled boy…

'Molly!' I call.

She looks around and sees me making my way towards her. Her face lights up. 'Entertainment!' she cries. 'Brilliant! Now I can have someone talking to me while I'm frantically looking up to the heavens, hoping that one of these gorgeous boys doesn't fall flat on his face and need a Squashing Antidote to repair the damage.'

I just laugh at her, and we stand in comfortable silence gazing at the game play out above us.

When Gryffindor score another goal, Molly turns to me. 'So, why did you abandon your seat to come down here and get a crick neck?'

'I've been meaning to come and see you,' I start.

'Well, thanks, dearie. For any particular reason?'

'Um, well, I know this is going to sound kind of strange, but…I think I must be sick, or something.'

She looks at me strangely. 'You think you might be sick?' She puts her hand to my forehead and draws it back after a moment. 'You don't have a fever. Are you sure you're ill?'

'Well, there's this inexplicable thing that's been happening recently.' I blush. 'Whenever I see Potter, I always seem to get sick. I'll get dizzy, or have butterflies, or start thinking that he's a really nice guy…'

For a moment she just stands there, staring at me open-mouthed. And then she throws her head back and laughs. And looks at me again and laughs even louder.

'You're going to puncture a lung if you don't stop laughing so hard,' I grumble.

She wipes tears away from the corners of her eyes and giggles. 'I'm sorry, Lily, it's just…' She stifles another laugh. 'You're supposed to be the cleverest witch in the year, but you think what you have is some illness I can somehow cure?'

I glare at her. 'It's perfectly possible, Molly.'

She grins. 'Lily, this thing you have ain't nothing I can cure.'

I can feel myself sagging. 'You're kidding.'

She shakes her head. 'Nope.'

'What is it, then?'

'What's what?'

'If I'm not sick, then what's the matter with me?'

She gives a short laugh. 'I'm sorry, Lily, but there's no way that I'm telling you that. I think it's important for you to figure that out by yourself.' She shakes her head again. 'Honestly, you'd be blind not to know.'

I frown at her and open my mouth to give a sharp retort, but the crowd starts to scream and I jerk my head upwards just in time to see Greta, just mere inches in front of the Slytherin Seeker, grab the Snitch, and then it really is chaos. Red and gold banners float lazily down to the field, the Gryffindor Quidditch players are screaming up in the air, and everyone is hugging their neighbour. Even Dumbledore looks pleased, clapping his wizened hands jovially.

And then I'm bowled over by a big sweaty thing, which, after a while, I make out as James. He pulls away from the big bear hug and looks at me triumphantly. 'We won!' he shouts.

'We won!' I shout back. Because now I'm back into girlfriend mode, laughing and hugging and not caring whether James is all sweaty, or how much it hurts having his broomstick jabbing my back. But as he pulls away and kisses my cheek, and those pesky butterflies come back to haunt my insides, I know that Molly's wrong. There is definitely something up with me.

**Acknowledgements**: I know it's slightly shorter than the rest, but that's just because I had a conversation in this that suited the next chapter more than it did this one. So this is what I came up with. I hope you liked it!

Thanks to all of those beeyootiful people that reviewed **Feet Firmly On The Ground**: _mrspadfoot4eva_ (your review was one of the nicest I have ever received, truly! Thank you for all your wonderful feedback, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!); _islington bus no. 199_; _grannyHPfan_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_ (your idea for the ending was ingenious, but unfortunately I've already decided what's going to happen and you're going to hate me because yes, I am going to inflict some pretty disastrous pain on James. But have faith! For all will work out smoothly in the end…Trust me!); _Leigh A. Sumpter_; _mean-girl123_; _DarthRoden aka Carl_ (you're back from the dead!); _shmokey-bear_; _embracing_; _popkornchicken_; _Burgirhig_; _EastCoastHPgrl_ and last, but definitely not least, _ohsnap its potter_. Thank you all for your brilliant feedback, and please stay with me!


	14. What True Love Is

**A/N**: This is possibly the fluffiest chapter I have ever concocted. Just wanting to let you know that you may be prone to squealing and/or 'ahhing' towards the end of the chapter. Don't say I didn't warn you! And by the way, for all those Peter Pan fans out there – there's something in here that's more than a nod to the big Barrie himself. Anyway, please review, as usual, for happy reviews make me write complete fluff like this that I know you all enjoy. _In our last chapter_: James pulls his chair around to my side of the table and swings his arm over my shoulder. I can't write properly but at the moment I'm not really minding, because the feeling of James' strong arm around my shoulder makes me feel safe and protected… 

Quidditch is so much more exciting and nerve-wracking when you have someone out there on the pitch that you actually feel something for…But it's not because I love him. I can still like him and enjoy being around him, and not have to think too carefully about all of the connotations that go along with all of that, right?…

'Molly, well, I know this is going to sound kind of strange, but…I think I must be sick, or something. Whenever I see Potter, I always seem to get sick. I'll get dizzy, or have butterflies, or start thinking that he's a really nice guy…'

For a moment she just stands there, staring at me open-mouthed. And then she throws her head back and laughs. And looks at me again and laughs even louder. 'You're not sick, Lily, but there's no way that I'm telling you what's really up with you. I think it's important for you to figure that out by yourself.' She shakes her head. 'Honestly, you'd be blind not to know.'

James comes swooping down, hugging me with all his might. But as he pulls away and kisses my cheek, and those pesky butterflies come back to haunt my insides, I know that Molly's wrong. There is definitely something up with me.

**What True Love Is**

also known as

**The Potter Gene**

I'm losing – extremely badly, might I add – a game of Wizard's Chess to Remus. How badly? The short story is he's still got all his pawns whereas I surrendered my queen in the first five minutes.

I'm trying to salvage what I've lost, attempting to ignore the whinging of the pieces still remaining on the board, when James comes up behind me, a sly smile on his face.

My face heats up just looking at him. 'Hey, James.'

'Hey, Lils. Remus, mate, can I steal this lovely lady from you?'

'Oh, thank Merlin, take her!' the pieces on the board screech. 'She's killing us here! She won't listen to any of our advice! And who do you think would be more knowledgeable on the subject? Huh?'

Remus just laughs, at both the chess pieces and James. 'She's _your_ girlfriend, Prongs.'

James just shrugs. 'But maybe you needed her, or something.'

I shake my head. 'No way does he need me. He's beating me horribly, James, and if I stay he'll just gloat, and I may be forced to do something I regret.'

Remus laughs, amazed. 'What's this? Lily's actually willingly accepting to do something with James? I've never heard of such a thing!'

Neither had I, but I'm starting to think that maybe I was wrong about James. I mean, he's really different once you get to know him…I shake my head. However I feel about James won't stop me from going through with the plan.

So I groan at Remus and get up from my seat. 'Where are we going?'

James smiles. 'It's a surprise.'

I raise my eyebrows. 'Ah…maybe I'll stay with Remus.'

They both laugh at me.

'I think that there may be a little more time needed for basic dating before Lily will willingly accept a Potter surprise,' Remus says, grinning at me.

'Trust me, it's nothing bad,' James assures me.

'How do I trust you?'

He fakes a shocked expression. 'Lily, I am outraged! Not trusting this Marauder?' He shrugs. 'Honestly, if it were going to be a bad surprise Moony here would be warning you and Padfoot would be lurking around. Tonight Remus has no idea what this is, and Sirius is…' He turns around and I glimpse part of Sirius. It's hard to see his full profile because the blonde sixth year on top of him is blocking most of his body.

'See?' James says, holding out his hand. 'Come on.'

'Do you know anything about this?' I ask Remus.

He shakes his head. 'I swear I know absolutely nothing about this particular plan, Lily.'

James waves his hand in front of me. 'Come on, Lily, this hand isn't going to wait around forever!'

I sigh and put my hand in his. 'Okay. Let's get this over with.'

'Glad you're so excited,' James mutters sarcastically, and with a wave of his wand produces a red and white spotted scarf. 'Now, I need to blindfold you…'

'No way.'

'Lily, please.'

'James, no! I've been at the end of too many of your pranks and besides, the colour totally clashes with my hair.'

He stifles a laugh. 'Okay, I'm going to ignore the latter argument. This isn't a prank, it's a surprise, and I promise nothing bad is going to happen to you, okay? I wouldn't let it.'

He's so sincere I have to believe him. 'All right…'

'You can hold on to your wand the entire time,' he says.

'Can you at least change the colour?' I beg.

He rolls his eyes but the scarf turns green with little blue dots. I smile, and, satisfied, he ties the scarf over my eyes so all I can see is black.

'Can you see anything?' he asks.

'No.'

'How many fingers am I holding up?'

I wave his hands away. Or at least, where his hands were a couple of seconds ago.

'Thanks for that head massage, Lily,' Remus says, and I quickly detach my fingers from his hair.

'Sorry, Remus.'

'I think that means you can't see anything. Okay, I'm going to lead you to this special place. And no peeping!'

'You tied this so tight my blood supply to my brain will cut off before I can peep, James.'

'Good.' He starts leading me and I can hear giggles as we leave the common room. I know what they're all thinking – how none of them would ever trust James Potter, Marauder extraordinaire, to lead them anywhere blindfolded. To have me, the one person who never gave into any of James' pranks, be the one in the blindfold must appear pretty strange. Some part of me knows that James isn't going to try anything silly, but I'm still nervous. And the feel of his hand on the small of my back is making me shiver. But maybe it's just the cold night air. Except we're still in the castle – I can hear the paintings making unnecessary comments as we walk.

'Where are we going?' I ask, but James just shushes me, his hand on my back, slowly steering me to wherever he wants to take me.

Finally we stop and I can feel his breath next to my ear. It sends tingles up and down my spine. It's the cold air, dammit! It doesn't have anything to do with one extremely cute boy standing right behind me…

'Now,' James whispers, 'I want you to think of the most romantic place you could ever want to be, okay?'

I smile uncertainly. 'The most romantic place I could ever want?'

'Yeah. And while you think very hard of that, I'm going to lead you a bit more, okay?'

'Okay,' I whisper, and think of my all-time dream place, wondering what the hell Potter is up to this time, as he walks me back and forth three times.

He grabs my hand and I follow him uncertainly. I hear a door being opened and James leads me through it, shutting the door behind him. I can hear the sound of waves breaking and trees rustling. I taste salt on my lips. Next to me James chuckles appreciatively.

'I like what I see,' he says. 'Want to have a look?'

With gentle movements he unties my blindfold and I open my eyes to the most perfect night. We're on a beach, the stars bright and beautiful above us, the water dark and silky as it reflects the yellow moon. I gaze along the beach and see a little campfire set up in front of a pile of blankets, candles set up all around. James takes my hand and we walk slowly up the beach, stopping in front of the campfire. There are tiny fairies flying above the blankets, giving off strange, ethereal glow. There are blankets and pillows and lying on a particularly large red pillow are two perfect roasting sticks and two packets of marshmallows.

I laugh. 'What is this place?'

'The most romantic place you could ever want.' He smiles at me and I am overcome with emotion. I thrust myself into his chest and hug him tightly, feeling his hands come down to rest on the small of my back.

'Thank you,' I murmur into his chest, and I can feel him smile.

'It's okay.' He bends down closer to my ear. 'I'd do anything for you, you know that, right?'

I give a small nod, knowing he's speaking the absolute truth. And that thought comforts me, it gives me hope in a time that I know won't always be so perfect.

I pull away, suddenly embarrassed. I bend down and pick up the sticks and marshmallows. 'Would you like a lovely delicacy, Sir?' I ask, holding out a stick.

'With pleasure, my Lady.' He grins at me and I duck away, sitting down on the white sand, opening a packet of marshmallows and expertly placing one on the end of my stick.

We sit quietly, eating sticky warm marshmallows for a while, before James leans back and pronounces himself full.

'We need to talk about something.'

'Okay.'

'We should tell each other our secrets.'

Instantly I want to leave. 'No, I don't think so.'

'Come on, it's the most romantic night of your life. You have to tell all your secrets then.'

'Don't be ridiculous.'

'I'm being utterly serious.'

'James…'

'Just do it, okay? We have to tell each other a secret. Something big.'

I shrug my shoulders. 'I don't like Brussels sprouts.'  
'I don't like porridge, but that's not what I meant. You have to tell me something that you've never told anyone before. And I have to do the same.'

'But…Most of the secrets I've already told Alice.'

He chuckles. 'Why do girls have to tell each other everything?'

'You don't tell Sirius everything?'

'I tell him the basic ideas…but he doesn't know everything.' He tilts his head to the side. 'Come on, tell me something.'

_I'm just using you to get back at all the horrible things you've done_. I knew this was a bad idea.

'Ah…I find Professor Slughorn creepy.'

'Who doesn't? Anyway, anybody who dotes you that much has obviously got some serious issues.'

'Ever heard of the words pot, kettle, and black, James?'

He frowns at me. 'I'm allowed to dote on you.'

'Oh, are you now?'

'You and Sirius don't get it. He doesn't reckon that it's ever going to pan out. You and I. He reckons it's a passing infatuation. It's not that at all.'

'I don't think it is either. A passing infatuation is not something that's lasted for seven years. James, even I have come to the conclusion that whatever we do in life, you'll always be around the corner, nagging me to go out with you.'

'I think you've already given in to those nags, Lily.'

I throw a marshmallow at him, trying not to let him see how close I was to giving it all away. 'It's your turn.'

'I want to be an Auror.'

I look up from putting another marshmallow on my stick. 'You're joking.'

He just looks at me pointedly.

'You want to be a Chaser for the English World Quidditch Team – you tell everyone!'

'And I'm telling _you_ that it's not what I want to do. I want to be an Auror.'

It's like everything I've ever known to be true has come crashing down on top of me. James Potter, an Auror? Somehow it seems strangely fitting, but ever since I started going out with him things have been strange.

'I love Quidditch, but choosing between that and saving people's lives? It's not such a hard decision. And with Voldemort killing every Mudblood he can find, I want to be able to protect someone I care very strongly for.'

I squirm and turn red when I realise he's talking about me. I want to change the subject. And then, before I realise what I'm doing, I ask him quietly, 'Why is always me, James? Why has it always been me?'

'What?'

I don't want to look at him. 'Why me?'

He touches my arm and I turn my face up to look at him. He smiles. 'It's something in the Potter gene,' he says in all seriousness. 'All the males in my family have this bizarre attraction towards short redheads.'

I can't help laughing. 'You're ridiculous.'

He chuckles. 'I'm being serious. For the past five generations every single Potter male has married a redhead. My mum's a redhead. My grandmother…Well, she _did_ have red hair. It's kind of tradition.'

'Is that all I am to you?' I ask him jokingly. 'A family tradition?'

'Of course not.' He smiles. 'I've known a lot of girls, Lily. But all of them have been flawed. None of them have been perfect.'

'I'm not perfect.'

'I wasn't saying that you were. If you were perfect then you would've said yes to going out with me all those years ago. But nothing's perfect in life. Nobody can be perfect. What we're all striving for is something close to perfection – something that's good enough. You, Lily, are the only one that I never cared about not being perfect. The fact that you're not perfect makes me love you even more…If that makes any sense to you.'

I can't say anything. It's too hard. I just nod.

'I think that's what true love is. It's not finding your one true soul mate that you share everything with and never fight with, because I don't believe that there is someone like that for everyone. True love is finding someone that you know is flawed, but love despite all of that.'

I let out the breath that I've been holding and swallow, looking up at him. 'You know how you wanted me to tell you when my best moment was?' I whisper.

He nods.

I smile. 'You just gave me it.'

He reaches out his hand and cups my face in his palm, smiling at me. He then moves around to sit right next to me, his arms curling around me. I rest my head in his chest, wondering at how happy and safe I can feel just being in his arms. All that is with me at this moment is that I am the happiest I have ever been, knowing that this guy, this not-perfect-but-that's-okay guy, the one guy that I had always thought was immature and ridiculous, has just surprised me and given me the sweetest thing I've ever known: true love. Somehow, even with death and destruction all around, I know that as long as I have him with me, I'll deal with other tragedies.

'This is perfect,' I murmur.

He hugs me to him tighter. 'I wish we could stay like this forever, Lils.'

I angle my head to watch him, smiling. 'Forever's an awfully long time.'

He shrugs, and then looks at me, our eyes locking together. 'You know,' he murmurs, 'when I'm with you it doesn't seem like that. I start to think that forever couldn't ever be long enough.'

The sincerity of his words sends me reeling. 'Really?'

He brings his hand up to my cheek, stroking it tenderly. 'Really.' His cheeks turn slightly pink as he says so softly I can hardly hear him, 'I love you, Lily.'

It's not like the times when he does it at school. This time it's so much more personal and true and passionate and I know instinctively that I want to tell him the same thing, that inside I love him too.

Without having to think things through, knowing with all my heart that this is what I want, I lean forward and touch my lips with his, an agonisingly sweet, slow kiss that has my mind tumbling. James' hands cup my face and before I completely lose myself in the taste of his kiss, I pull away and breathe into his ear, 'I love you too.'

I turn my face up from his neck to see him smiling down at me. And then no words are needed. He gently kisses my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my chin, and finally my lips, holding me as if I am the most precious thing in the world.

And I know that, to him, I am.

**Acknowledgements**: I'd like to thank all the lovely people who reviewed my last chapter: _popkornchicken_; _mrspadfoot4eva_; _girl from across the bridge..._; _islington bus no. 199_; _grannyHPfan_; _embracing_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_; _Burgirhig_; _Leigh A. Sumpter_; _mean_-_girl123_; _shmokey-bear_; _ohsnap its potter_ and _Amenti_. All of you were so cute about the footsie thing – it made my day to make all of you guys so happy, and I hope that this chapter satisfied all those fluff-urges!


	15. Rational and Irrational

**A/N**: Thank you for all your wonderful feedback for my last chapter – everyone seemed to love all that fluffiness, which makes me think you might run at me with pitchforks for this chapter, but it had to be done. I couldn't resist torturing both James and Lily for at least a couple of chapters. So please don't murder me for ruining the perfection…I hope you like it nonetheless, and please review! _In our last chapter_: 

'What we're all striving for is something close to perfection – something that's good enough. You, Lily, are the only one that I never cared about not being perfect. The fact that you're not perfect makes me love you even more…I think that's what true love is. It's not finding your one true soul mate that you share everything with and never fight with, because I don't believe that there is someone like that for everyone. True love is finding someone that you know is flawed, but love despite all of that.'

He gently kisses my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my chin, and finally my lips, holding me as if I am the most precious thing in the world.

And I know that, to him, I am.

**Rational and Irrational**

also known as

**A Very Disturbing Realisation For One Very Confused Head Girl**

A hand comes and grasps me on the shoulder.

'Hello, beautiful.'

I look up and see James' face hovering above mine, smiling widely. I can't help but grin back at him. I haven't seen him all day, because he's been on the Quidditch pitch with Sirius. They both had Quidditch withdrawals from not having flown for so long.

It's just contagious, smiling at each other, my rational mind tries to tell me. You don't like him. You never have and never will. You know that liking a Potter goes against every fibre of your being. And that kiss last night? Wrong. You were on a complete sugar high from too many marshmallows. You should never have done it.

_Then why did it feel so right? _Another voice in my head asks. _If I hate Potter's guts, if I'm so determined to loathe him for all eternity, why do I find him so utterly irresistible? Why is he the one guy that I can actually picture spending the rest of my life with? Why do I get butterflies when I see him, or talk to him? I know that I thought it would never be possible, but, I think…I think…_

No, don't think. Just try to ignore him.

He sits beside me and grabs my hand, keeping a tight hold of it even when reaching for his dinner. I attempt to pull away but he just holds on even more firmly. So I give in and resume eating my potatoes, wondering how the hell I'm going to get out of this mess.

_I think…_

Be quiet!

I could go crazy with these voices in my head. Maybe that's why I've started to feel like this around James, because I am a psychopath. I mean, it would certainly explain a lot, with these daft ideas and impulses to snog Potter senseless.

_You're an idiot. You like him, Lily, you _really_ like him. Don't try to deny it._

I can deny it all I like.

I rub my head in frustration and James notices, his eyes dark with concern.

'What's the matter, love?'

I glance up at him. 'Love?'

He smiles. 'Too embarrassing?' At my still-stunned face he adds quickly, 'Or is it too public – too much of a public display of affection, I mean?'

_No_, the voice in my head says. _It's just the truth…_

'Yeah, it's kind of pushing the boundaries,' I tell him softly, trying and failing to get rid of the voice in my head that will not leave me alone.

_It's the truth, Lily. He's in love with you, and you're in love with him…_

I'm not!

_Last night nothing has ever felt so right. For once in your life you weren't afraid to be you. You didn't have to pretend you were anything other than yourself. He respects that. He loves you for it. He loves you despite all your flaws, which is pretty amazing, considering there are so many…I mean, only figuring out _now_ that you're absolutely and utterly in love with the most desirable male in Hogwarts? Talk about blind…_

Bloody Molly, putting these ideas in my head…

_Look, the point is you trust him and he loves you and you told him you reciprocated the feeling and…_

This cannot be happening. Where's my rational voice? It seems to have disappeared, gone on holidays, deserted me when I need it the most. I watch as James leans forward, still anxious. He touches my face gently.

'Are you sure?'

I don't know what comes over me. I grab his tie and pull him towards me, kissing him with abandon. I can feel his initial shock and then, as he relaxes, his hand moves from my cheek to touch my hair. It feels more right than anything I have ever known, and suddenly I realise why my rational voice has disappeared. Because all along that damned voice had been irrational. Last night was the first time that I had spoken or thought any sense.

I love James Potter. I've tried to stop myself but my vow to loathe him for all eternity can just fly out the window, because here, right now, holding each other and not wanting to let go, is perfection. Even though there are people everywhere, watching us, nothing matters but him and I. I love him and that's all that matters.

I pull away from him at that thought, and get up quickly. I love him. And I can't go through with the plan. I can't break his heart; I can't hurt him in that way. I thought I could, I thought I could manage it, but then again, I thought I didn't have any feelings for him other than disgust and repulsion.

I can't go through with it.

I leave him looking at me with confused eyes, and I run out through the doors, not stopping for any of the voices calling me back.

III

I clutch my head tightly; wanting the ground to swallow me up so I don't have to do this, don't have to feel this way anymore. I'm going insane, only now I know it's nothing that Madam Giles can fix. She doesn't have a potion that cures this love, this love that was so unwelcome, and she certainly doesn't have a potion that can get me out of this mess.

Molly had been right all along. She _knew_ I loved him, and she did nothing to alert me to it earlier! Well, she kept me in the dark for a hell of a lot longer than I needed to be, that's for sure.

I'm starting to hyperventilate when Alice runs into the common room, looking worried.

'There you are!'

She rushes over to me and holds my face up so she can see me.

'You look terrible.'

'Thanks.'

'What's the matter? Last thing I saw was you and James kissing and then you tearing out of the Great Hall. What happened? You had James exactly where you wanted him, just to run away from it all. Lily? What happened?'

I shake my head, not wanting her words to infiltrate my brain. 'I can't do this anymore, Alice.'

'You can't do what anymore?'

'James and I. I can't do it.'

'Why not? You've only got a bit longer, Lily, and then he'll be gone for good and you won't ever have to see him or touch him again.'

'Alice, I can't.'

She sits down beside me on the couch, touching my shoulder. 'What's happened, Lily?'

I run my hand through my hair, wanting to scream in frustration. 'I…I think I love him.'

'Who? You think you love who?'

I roll my eyes and look at her incredulously. 'James, Alice. I think I'm in love with James.'

'James? As in James Potter?'

I'm too miserable to give a sarcastic answer, and instead just glare at her. She looks at me, stunned.

'Lily…You can't be.'

'I know I can't! It's against everything I stand for! But last night…these past few weeks…He's been trying to get be to go out with him forever, but I never took the time to see what was underneath him, which is this amazing, sweet, lovely guy. He's the only person who's ever understood me, Alice, he's the only one who I know loves me for who I am, warts and all! I know he's supposed to be immature and ridiculous but he's not, he's the best guy I've ever known. He's right beneath my skin, and no matter what I do I can't stop liking him, okay?'

She bites her lip. 'Oh, Lily…'

I shake my head. 'You're supposed to say that I shouldn't worry, everything should sort itself out.' I throw my hands in the air. 'You could even say, hey, Lily, don't worry, if you like him then don't worry about breaking his heart and ego and whatever else, humankind be damned…'

'Lily, you agreed to this. You agreed to breaking James Potter's heart.'

I want to cry. 'I know.'

'You have to end it, now. Before things get too out of control.'

I curl up in the corner of the couch, wrapping my arms around my legs, protecting myself. 'But…' I start softly, looking over at the common room entrance, wanting someone to come in so that we can stop talking about this.

'No buts,' she whispers. 'Just the end of him, okay?'

From my position on the couch I can see the door close ever so slightly.

'Someone's been listening!' I jump up and run to the door, flipping it open to see a dark-haired someone run down the corridor. That someone was the last person I would ever want Alice and my conversation to be overheard by.

And who was that someone?

That someone was James Potter.

**Acknowledgements**: If I had something other than words for all those people that reviewed my last chapter, then I'd be handing out lots of chocolates. They were so sweet and I love you all so much for taking the time to tell me how much you enjoyed my fluffy chapter. Those people were: _islington bus no. 199_; _embracing_; _popkornchicken_; _Eve1980_; _grannyHPfan_; _Burgirhig_; _Leigh A. Sumpter_; _mean-girl123_; _Whimsical Witch_; _ohsnap its potter_; _Amenti_; _shmokey-bear_; _Lady of the Rogue_ and _S2-Italian Princess-S2_. I hope you liked this one.


	16. The Worst Conversation To Have Overheard

**A/N**: My second last chapter! Sniff. It's one of the shortest ones ever, but it's necessary, and my next chapter, the final chapter (who honestly thought I'd ever get there!) will hopefully be suitably long and full of all the goodness I can create to make up for the terrible ending for this. Thank you to all of the reviewers who pleaded with me, asking me why I couldn't have just kept it perfect…Guys, I know James is being tortured, but there wouldn't be a story without this tense climax! Anyway, I'm sure you're all yelling at me to 'bloody well get on with it!', so enough of the babble, let's get on to **The Worst Conversation To Have Overheard**. 

_In our last chapter_:

_He loves you despite all your flaws, which is pretty amazing, considering there are so many…I mean, only figuring out now that you're absolutely and utterly in love with the most desirable male in Hogwarts? Talk about blind…_

I don't know what comes over me. I grab his tie and pull him towards me, kissing him with abandon. It feels more right than anything I have ever known, and suddenly I realise why my rational voice has disappeared. Because all along that damned voice had been irrational. Last night was the first time that I had spoken or thought any sense.

I love James Potter.

Alice stares at me as I run my hand through my hair, wanting to scream in frustration. 'I…I think I love him.'

'Who? You think you love who?'

'James, Alice. I think I'm in love with James.'

'Lily…You can't be.'

'I know I can't! It's against everything I stand for! He's the only person who's ever understood me, Alice, he's the only one who I know loves me for who I am, warts and all! I know he's supposed to be immature and ridiculous but he's not, he's the best guy I've ever known.'

'Lily, you agreed to this. You agreed to breaking James Potter's heart.'

I want to cry. 'I know.'

'You have to end it, now. Before things get too out of control.'

I see the door close. 'Someone's been listening!' I jump up and run to the door, flipping it open to see a dark-haired someone run down the corridor. That someone was the last person I would ever want Alice and my conversation to be overheard by.

And who was that someone?

That someone was James Potter.

**The Worst Conversation To Have Overheard**

also known as

**You Filthy Stinking Liar**

I chase him, and although he's the star Chaser of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, I'm the one that's realised that she's in love with the one guy she swore she'd never fall for. And I need to make sure that he knows that. No matter what I was going to do before, I never want to hurt him.

'James!' I yell, as we weave our way through the crowd making their way back up from dinner. I crash into a couple of second years, falling to the ground, but I jump up and keep running, ignoring the protests behind me. I keep calling his name as he runs through the Great Hall and out through the big wooden doors into the darkening night.

'Get out of my way!' I yell. But something big is blocking my way and soon I am on the floor again after slamming, hard, into Sirius' chest.

I pick myself up off the floor and glare at him. 'Out of my way, Black,' I snarl.

'Lily, I can't let you go out there.'

I stare at him angrily. 'You don't even know what happened.'

He shakes his head. 'I know that my best mate has just run as fast as he can away from you – I think that's proof enough that he doesn't want to hear what you've got to say.'

I set my chin. 'You don't understand – I have to see him. I have to explain…'

'I think he heard enough, Lily.'

'He _didn't_ hear enough, Sirius.'

He folds his arms across his chest and shakes his head, but like that's going to stop me. I mutter under my breath and, with a loud cry, Sirius falls to the ground, dead still, stuck in a Petrificulus Totalus curse. The only thing moving are his eyes, watching me angrily as I storm past screaming girls to the doors, trying to find James' shape in the darkening night. He's a blurry figure on the green grass, but he's a blurry figure that's getting bigger as I take off in chase after him.

He comes to a stop next to his favourite beech tree. A place that he has made ours. He doesn't turn around as I come to him, gasping for breath.

'James,' I murmur, touching his shoulder, but he jerks away from me and my heart breaks.

'James,' I try again, 'I'm sorry.'

'Really?' His voice is low and bitter, dripping with sarcasm. 'I'm sure you're really sorry that you were just playing games with me. I'm sure you're really sorry you've been lying to me these past couple of months.' He looks up to the fading light and shakes his head, turning to face me. What his face betrays scares me. Anger and desperation and betrayal. 'Why the hell did you do it, Lily?'

'James, you have to understand…I never wanted it to happen like this.'

'What, you never wanted me to find out that you were just pretending to like me? Well, I can see the sense in that.'

'When you overheard Alice and I talking tonight…I was telling her that I couldn't do it. I never wanted to hurt your feelings, James.'

He rolls his eyes. 'If you never wanted to hurt my feelings, Lily, you wouldn't have done it in the first place.'

I feel I have to explain further. 'It was so frustrating, James, having you constantly on my back, asking me out. You weren't just annoying me, it was everyone in the school. And, I don't know, I thought I needed to take your ego down a peg, teach you a lesson, let you know that I'm not to be messed around with, which was what you always seemed to be doing.'

His hazel eyes are almost black with fury. 'My ego was so big I needed Miss Priss to help me find my feet? To make sure that I didn't go over the top? They were just jokes, Lily. They were never malicious.'

'I was…I was just joking too,' I mumble.

He shakes his head, smiling sadly. 'No, you weren't, Lily. I may have made fun of you, annoyed you, taunted you, but I never lied to you. I never said anything I didn't mean. Last night when I told you I loved you, it was all the truth. I can't believe anything you've ever told me.'

'Last night I told you I loved you too.'

He glares at me. 'It wasn't real.'

'It wasn't a lie, James.' My eyes well up with tears but I don't let them fall. My voice shakes as I try to get him to understand. 'Tonight I was telling Alice how much I love you, and how I couldn't go through with it. You just…you didn't hear the first part of our conversation. I do love you, James, and I never wanted to hurt you!'

'No!' he yells back at me. 'You just wanted to get into my heart so you could rip it to shreds. You wanted to get to me so that you'd never have to be near me again. Well, congratulations, because not only is my heart pretty much destroyed, I don't plan to go anywhere near you.'

'If you hurt, James, be sure that I'm hurting ten times more. All I can tell you is that I never wanted to hurt you in this way. I was going to end it, James! I meant what I said last night – I do love you. And I wouldn't ever be able to do something like that to you…not now, not ever…'

He shakes his head, twisting his hands together. 'I don't want to hear this, Lily.' I start to cry, but I don't break eye contact with him. 'You've hurt me more than anyone ever could. You do realise that, don't you? But you wouldn't care. I mean, the good thing is that your plan, your ingenious plan, succeeded. You taught James Potter a lesson. And you got what you wanted – because he's never going to bother you again.'

He leans in very close and his hand hovers near my face. I long for him to touch me. I don't care if that touch is a slap; I just want to feel him once more. But if there's anything I've learnt through this is that he's a gentleman. And even though it kills him now, he'd never do anything to physically hurt me.

He withdraws his hand slowly, shaking his head. 'I'd never have thought it was possible, from someone like you,' he murmurs, his voice low with pain. Then his eyes flick away from mine and he says louder, 'Goodbye, Lily.'

He sweeps past me and returns to the castle, where I can see crowds of people at the windows and even spilling out onto the lawn to watch Hogwarts' favourite couple break up. All because of my stupid, stupid plan.

I drop to my knees; sobbing so hard I can't breathe. How can it have been possible for me to be so blind, to realise how perfect James was for me, to just to see him walk away?

The last rays of the sun disappear behind the craggy mountains surrounding the school, and my world is plunged into darkness.

It is my funeral.

**Acknowledgements**: Thanks so much to all the following people who took the time to write to me and babble about how much they liked my story: _islington bus no. 199_;

_Amenti_; _mrspadfoot4eva_; _DarthRoden aka Carl_; _Erica_; _shmokey-bear_; _cerdinalz_; _ohsnap its potter_; _mean-girl123_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_; _Leigh A. Sumpter_; _millionreasons_; _grannyHPfan_; _embracing_; _Fairy Love_; _Burgirhig_ and _-kahlara-the-sphinx-_. 18 reviews for my last chapter – could I get up to 20 for this one? Even though it ends pretty tragically…Please?


	17. Our Time To Discover

**A/N**: (Just a little note before hand: whoa. Ask and ye shall receive. I got 25 reviews for my last chapter! You guys are awesome.) And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: the final chapter of **Time To Discover** is now here. It's actually really sad, finally saying goodbye to all these characters that have been a part of me for so long. The best thing out of this, for me, was all you brilliant reviewers, who urged me every week to post something, anything! All your positive feedback has meant so much to me; I don't know how I can thank you all. The fact that I am up to 200 reviews and counting is something that is just so amazing for me; it's just absolutely mind-blowing. Please send me a review telling me what you thought of this last chapter, and please keep an eye out for my next Lily and James story coming very soon, called **Who Would've Thunk It?** (you'll get the name once you read it).

**Note**: The best way to read this chapter is with a hunk of good chocolate, listening to the song _Feel To Believe_ by Beth Orton. (Also, you could substitute José González's beautiful song _Heartbeats_ for it, if you have that in your collection.) Beth Orton's acoustic track was where my story was first born, and so for that I want to dedicate this chapter to her, and to all of my reviewers out there who made this story possible. And I'm very sorry if this sounds too much like an Oscar speech. I won't make you wait any longer…

_In our last chapter_:

'I may have made fun of you, Lily, annoyed you, taunted you, but I never lied to you. Last night when I told you I loved you, it was all the truth. I can't believe anything you've ever told me. You just wanted to get into my heart so you could rip it to shreds. You wanted to get to me so that you'd never have to be near me again. Well, congratulations, because not only is my heart pretty much destroyed, I don't plan to go anywhere near you.' He shakes his head. 'I'd never have thought it was possible, from someone like you,' he murmurs, his voice low with pain. Then his eyes flick away from mine and he says louder, 'Goodbye, Lily.'

He sweeps past me and returns to the castle, and I drop to my knees; sobbing so hard I can't breathe. How can it have been possible for me to be so blind, to realise how perfect James was for me, just to see him walk away?

The last rays of the sun disappear behind the craggy mountains surrounding the school, and my world is plunged into darkness.

It is my funeral.

**Our Time To Discover**

also known as

**Love On Top Of A Table**

I have never experienced so much pain as the week following James and my public break up. I cry myself to sleep every night, wanting to kill myself for being so blind, for losing this perfect guy just as I discovered my true feelings. Every time I try to talk alone with James he turns his head away, and the other Marauders quickly surround him with immature babble. Soon, when he realises I'm not going to stop accosting him in the corridors or after class or during meals, or anytime, really, he and Sirius begin to place deafening charms on themselves so they can't hear anything I say.

Even Remus, the one person I thought would be able to get me past them all, is stubborn.

'Please, Remus, I'm begging you.'

He shakes his head, and we watch in silence as James avoids my eyes and follows Sirius up to their dormitory one night after dinner. I turn back to Remus as soon as James is out of sight and tug at his robes.

'Please, Remus. I have to talk to him.'

'Lily, I can't.'

'You can.'

'No, I can't.'

'Remus, don't you believe me either? I wasn't going to go through with it! It was a silly, immature thing to do…'

'It should never have been planned in the first place, Lily.'

'You were there when he tortured me, Remus, what the hell was I supposed to do?'

'Deal with it like an adult,' he replies sharply. 'You only had a couple more months of that torture, Lily.'

'If I hadn't done it, Remus, I never would've found out the real side of James. Can you understand that, at least? Please, I need to talk to him.'

He looks at me, torn. 'Lily, he's my best mate.'

I push him away, shaking my head, and leave the room, knowing that his dark eyes are watching me retreat.

Alice isn't much better than Remus. She blames it entirely on herself, and although I accept that part of it was her doing, it was me that agreed to it, and I was going to have to deal with the consequences.

And Molly, who just stared at me sadly, shaking her head, when I told her, couldn't resist an 'I told you so'.

'Molly, don't. I know I brought it onto myself.'

She pulls me into a hug, and I cry on her shoulder, past hope.

'It's impossible. He charms himself so he can't hear what I say. He doesn't look at me. He sits on the opposite side of the classroom when we have classes together…He avoids me as much as possible. All I want is for things to go back to the way they were, when we were going out and he didn't know about the plan and everything was fine.'

She pulls away and shakes her head at me. 'That wouldn't do, Lily. You'd be lying to him. At least now he knows about it and you don't have to constantly be pretending to love him – the slate's clean.'

'But if you hadn't noticed, Molly, he hates my guts.'

She shrugs. 'You just have to do something so that he honestly knows that you feel bad about it, and that you want him back, despite everything.'

'How can I do that when he won't listen to me?'

She wipes away the tears with a big orange handkerchief. 'Make him listen.'

'But…but what if he doesn't believe me? What if…what if he doesn't love me anymore?'

She gives me a brave smile. 'Then at least you'll know you tried your hardest.'

III

'I'm really sorry,' Alice whispers again during lunch one day as we watch James and Sirius entertaining a petite blonde sixth-year from Ravenclaw. He doesn't have a charm over him but I know it's hopeless. He's with another girl, for Merlin's sake, how more clear can he be? Watching him with someone else hurts beyond comprehension – the fact that I know I could have had perfection if I hadn't screwed things up royally is almost killing me. I can't help wondering what would've happened to us if he had never found out about the plan.

I groan and put my head in my hands, hating myself. Alice pats my back and tries to comfort me, but I'm past the comforting stage now, and am overcome with self-loathing. I watch everyone around us eating, laughing, chatting, and stare down at my plate of barely-eaten food.

'You need to eat something,' Alice says. 'Please, Lily?'

I take a tiny bite of potato to satisfy her, my gaze drifting again over to James and Sirius. My boy, my cute dark-haired boy, is kissing the blonde on the cheek, and saying something to Sirius. As he gets up from his seat I have a sudden idea. I have to do what Molly said: I have to make him listen. Not like those times in the corridors – he has to know what I'm prepared to do to make him listen.

And so, trying not to think too hard about it all, I get to my feet, and start to clamber up onto the table.

'What are you doing?' Alice hisses at me, trying to reach my feet. But I'm too quick for her and stand between the pumpkin juice and the pile of potatoes, suddenly feeling extremely nervous. People are staring at me and before I can rethink this decision I thrust my wand towards my neck and start to speak, all the time watching James as he walks between the house tables.

'Hi, everyone,' I begin, feeling myself blush at the stupid beginning. 'As you know, I'm Lily Evans, your Head Girl, and over there, almost out the door, is our Head Boy, James Potter.'

He stops, but doesn't turn around. It makes my heart break, and I want to race over to him and kiss him senseless but there is no way that he'd let me. This is my last chance to explain to him what happened between us. I don't want him to get away.

I _can't_ let him get away.

'So, I'm up here because I have to explain what's been going on with James and I. As you know, a couple of months ago James stood up here and told you all that I had agreed to go out with him. And everyone was, of course, surprised. I mean, I had only been yelling at him to stop being so immature since first year, right? But I hadn't been truthful when I told him that yes; I finally would go out with him. I had agreed to go out with him because I wanted to teach him a lesson. I thought that he was an egotistical prick, and if anyone could deflate his head it would be me, the one girl he's been proposing marriage to since we started here.'

There are a few chuckles and catcalls here but I ignore them, still intently staring at James' back.

'I thought it would be easy. To get James to fall for me and then break his heart, teaching him that it sucks to have mean pranks played on, that we're above all of that. But I was wrong. And what happened was something that I never thought would happen.

'I fell for him. James Potter, the guy who has been teasing me, dropping toad spawn down my shirt, laughing at me, walking in on me when I'm with guys…He's mature and sensible and loyal and he honestly loved me. I doubt that he still does-' and here my voice breaks but I don't want to cry, not in front of all these people…

'He's not perfect – he's far from it. But I don't care about that. Although he can be idiotic and immature, beneath all of that there is a guy that I never took the time to see; a guy that I truly care about. Underneath that tough exterior is a guy that knows that we have flaws. James is a guy that knows every single one of my flaws probably better than I know them myself, but despite all of that, he loves me. I discovered things about James that I never thought I'd know, and I feel so incredibly lucky to have been able to do that. Though he can be a git sometimes, I wouldn't have him any other way. And that's what true love is. It's what James told me true love is and I believe that what he and I had was real; that it was true love. That it _is_ true love. I thought it would never happen – that it wasn't possible – but it did. And now I know that I've been missing something my entire life. It's completely clichéd and ridiculous…but the truth is, if I had never done this, and found out how right we are for each other, I'd spend my entire life missing him and what we have together.'

I bite my lip. 'I know he doesn't believe me, but I do honestly love him. I told him that the night before he found out about the plan, and I meant what I said. I meant everything I said to you, James, about love and how sweet you are and how gorgeous I think you are…Every word was sincere. I don't know how I can get him to understand that I miss him and I'm incredibly sorry…'

The tears start to fall; I can't help it. 'I know I'm supposed to say that I regret everything that I did, but I don't. If going through all this pain means that at least I told him the truth, that I really do love him, and that I always will, then I don't regret anything. I would never have found out how amazing he is, and how amazing we are together, if I hadn't done any of this.'

I doubt that anyone can understand what I'm saying because I'm crying so hard, but I need to say one last thing.

'I'm sorry. I'm really, really, really sorry, James. I truly am.'

And everything's blurry because I'm crying so hard I can't see the table or what I'm doing; I've lost James and everyone watching me are blurred colours. I feel faint and dizzy and I'm about to fall off the table when I feel a familiar hand on my cheek.

'Lily…'

I cry harder at the voice. 'I'm sorry, James,' I whisper again.

He caresses my face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs so that I can see his face. He's smiling gently, his eyes warm and beautiful. 'Stop crying,' he commands.

'I can't,' I choke out.

'Lily, it's hard enough hearing you cry. Knowing you're crying because of me is unbearable, okay? Can you stop before I start?'

I manage a watery giggle and try to stop the tears. He cups my face in both his hands and he grins at me. 'I'm sorry,' he says simply.

'Whatever for?'

'For being so absolutely dreadful that the last resort was to do this…make us both hurt so much.'

'You were never dreadful…' I mutter, looking down at my shoes.

'What about when Sirius and I charmed all your school books shut for a week?'

I smile. 'Okay, maybe then…'

He pushes a strand of hair back behind my ear. 'I want you to know that I forgive you. And that although it hurt like hell to know that you were planning to break it off with me, to hurt me like that, it hurt even more to not have you by my side.'

I smile and gaze into his eyes, hardly daring to believe that we're having this conversation. 'Is there any way that I can stop that hurt?'

He grins at my slyly. 'There might be one way.'

I smile widely back, and lean up to his face, closing my eyes and meeting my lips with his, smiling against his mouth as he kisses me back gently. The hall erupts with cheers, girls crying and rude catcalls. We might not be perfect, but being together is perfection enough.

I break away breathlessly and he laughs, pulling me closer again and kissing me with so much fervour I don't ever want to break away. But just when I think I might die from the pleasure of having him here, despite everything, there's a huge bang and we pull away, shocked.

Above us, colourful fireworks begin to explode, covering the blue sky with dusty stars. We start to laugh as Professor McGonagall comes up to Sirius and begins scolding him harshly. He looks at us and winks, and James turns back to me, chuckling.

He puts his hand to my cheek and smiles. 'I just want to let you know that I honestly, truly, absolutely adore you.'

I stroke the back of his neck and pull him back to me, wondering at how I can feel so blissful. And before I lose myself once more in the sweetness of the kiss, a lost lyric from the very depths of my memory drifts into my mind.

_I won't waste a single second because it's our time; it's our time to discover._

**Acknowledgements**: And it's all over! I really hope you enjoyed it, and thank you so much to everyone that reviewed during the past; all your names are down here this time because I love you all so much!

_embracing_ (as always, I love you chickadee); _cosmopolitan_; _Lacerta Evans-Potter_; _popkornchicken_; _DarthRoden aka Carl_; _ohsnap its potter_ (all your reviews were amazing); _PurpleLight_; _Leigh A. Sumpter_; _MorganisM-Lve_; _Burgirhig_; _Emma_; _ADRIANNA_; _Stacy_; _shmokey-bear_; _EastCoastHPgrl_; _FairiesandDragons911_; _girl from across the bridge_...; _lilyandjamesfanatic_; _Perfect Impression_; _mean_-_girl123_; _shay_; _Katie_; _mauraudersminuspeterarehot_; _Lily Witchcraft_; _Sapphre818_; _xHeavilyxBrokenx_; _islington bus no. 199_; _mrspadfoot4eva_; _Whitelight72_; _Ilana Potter_; _Eve1980_; _GiddyGirlie_; _Your Tiny Dancer_; _m-girls_; _grannyHPfan_; _Amenti_; _S2-Italian Princess-S2_; _Lady of the Rogue_; _Whimsical Witch_; _Eve1980_; _Chilaro_; -_kahlara-the-sphinx_-; _Fairy Love_; _millionreasons_; _cerdinalz_; _Erica_; _Jelena_; _Arista Ramabra_; _iluvron_; _bookworm2butterfly_; _SilverKestrel_; _h4g_; _twadrummer_; _Issa1711_; _E Patronum_; _Moonstone_; _bfk1122_ and _silly2_.

57 names on there! God, I love you all!


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